Dear heart || geminifourth

Chapter 9.

When I was about to go back home I heard my phone ringing, I answered and i heard Win's voice, i didn't expact him to call at this moment, he asked me if i have free time right now because he wants to talk to me seriously.

I didn't know if i sould agree because it's already so late and i don't want to be late home or else my mom will beat the shit out of me.. she will probably think i do drugs or something.. and plus i wasn't ready to talk with Win after what happened.. But he insisted and he said he will be quick.

I agreed and told him to wait for me next to my house, i will give him 5 minutes because I'm for real scared to talk with him, i don't know what he is about to tell me and it's never something good..

He waited for me, we sat on steps of my house in awkward silence.. 

~

- "Gun, I'm so sorry for today."

- "Are you for real sorry or..?"

- "Yeah.. I'm so sorry for everything i want to talk with you seriously now, i didn't get to know you better, i only know some things about you but i want to get to know more about you, i will tell you everything about me and i want you to be honest with me i won't lie to you."

- "Alright..?"

- "Look.. sorry for my rections and everything.. i have problems with anger issues.. i'm so sorry but i can't control that, i'm trying my best but i see how much i hurt people with my aggressive behavior,  i am for real trying my best to pull myself together but i cant, it's so hard but i promise i will be soft on you from now on.. i promise you Gun.."

- "I'm so sorry to hear that, yeah i can agree that sometimes you cross the line with you aggressive behavior but it's okay.. i understand now and i will try to calm you down at that situation."

- "No please don't, remember this, never try to calm down perosn with anger issues you might even get hurt because of that.. please don't ever try to calm me down i don't want to hurt you, just leave me to calm down myself."

- "Well okay then."

- "Are you okay with telling me something about you now?"

- "I am but please promise me you will still be cool with me.. promise me that."

- "I promise Gun i won't look at you differently after.."

- "Well.. the thing is that..on lord it's so hard to talk about this."

- "Gun it's okay if you're not ready now, i understand.."

- "No wait, i will tell you. So the things is that i have diagnosed depression and ADHD.. im taking pills because of that and i have many more little problems but.. oh God.."

~

I can't im not used to talk openly about my feeling, it just feels so wrong opening up to anyone.. I'm so close to cry.

~

- "It's okay Gun.. i see you don't really want to talk about it and it's alright i promise, thank you for opening up to me i hope it feels better now when finally said something what you always kept deep inside you.."

~

Yeah actually, Win is right what the fuck, it's not the best but i for real feel better when i don't hide it anymore..

I zooned out, i don't know why but it feels so good but also so wrong, i didn't expect him to react like that.. oh my God.

When i started thinking about that Win hugged me and rested his head on my shoulder. I started petting his head like he's a dog, it was sweet to me to be honest, he and Tinn are actually good people oh my God.

~

- "Gun it's very late i think i should go home how, see you tomorrow."

- "Yeah, sure."

- "Don't forget, if you need someone you can call me any time, you have my phone number just save it, i will always come and support you, don't be scared of talking to me."

- "Thank you Win, it actually means so much for me."

- "Awh don't worry."

~

We hugged and i went home, i saw my mom sleeping on couch as always, with alcohol around her, i went to bathroom to change the bangade and clean my wounds. Oh lord it looks horrible. When will it heal? I put a new bangade on the wounds, brushed my teeth and lay down to sleep.

Before sleeping i thought about today and i questioned some things, why do people hate Tinn so much and if Win has real problems with anger issues how does he has a girlfriend, like isn't she hurt or something? I'm wondering how is she doing right now for real. I let my thoughts question everything they wanted it's not like i can control them..I finally felt sleepy and i finally fell asleep.