Dear heart || geminifourth

Chapter 2.

I woke up totally confused, I didn't know where i am, I looked around and i realized i was in one huge room.

I stretched and went downstairs to see where my dad is, I went to living room and saw him with one woman, who looked so young and beautiful.. She looked like she was in her 20.

I said good morning to my father and I totally ignored the woman, my dad, not fully awake started yelling how spoiled I am, how im just like my mother, but the woman interrupted him and said "Heyy little boyy, what's your namee?" I was shocked to hear how soft her voice is, how shiny her eyes are and how gently she held my hands.

~

- "I'm Gun, what's your name?"

- "I'm Pothjanee, but you can call me Jane!"

-"Nice to meet you Jane, why are you her-?" my dad interrupted me and told me its not okay to talk like that to my "new mother".
I was in shock. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to my mommy :(

~

But Jane said that its okay and i can ask her anything I want.

We talked a little, I actually found out she was a great person, I don't know why she choose to be with my father, he's a horrible person, but to be honest, I felt something  is wrong with her, she was acting kinda strange. I didn't want to say anything, I didn't want problems with my dad, I can't escape his anger issues

However, my dad, Jane and I talked a lot, we get to understand each other, just like a normal family, but Jane said she has to go home?

~

- "Why are you going home, isn't this your new home?" - i asked

-"No hunny, this isn't, i have my own house and home but i promise i will come and see you tomorrow, your daddy will drive me home now, you better be careful, don't let anyone in home except me and your dad!"

- "Okay!"

~

They were gone.

My dad never came back.

Police was on my door at 6:30am knocking, I said I'm not gonna let anyone in house except Jane and dad, they said that they have to take me to my dad.. I was a bit confused? Where is my dad? I thought he came back?

I let the police inside and one of policeman hugged me, saying that he had huge car crush, 6 people died, one of them is my dad.

I started crying, I almost fainted, I couldn't belive what I just heard.

They said they will take me to my mommy.
I cried all the way back home, I couldn't pull myself together.

When we finally arrived, my mom waited for me, trying not to cry, hugging me so tight, saying everything's gonna be okay.

When we went home, we took all his things, clothes, even beers he drank when he was home, and put it all in basement, my mom was in huge depression, I don't know how i never notice that, but the day when my dad died, she was never the same.

~

She never made jokes.

She never mentioned dad.

She never went to basement to see dads things.

She never trusted any guy.

She was never in relationship after my dad.

~

But my mother had to be strong for me, school is close, we have to bring everything for me so I can successfully have high grades and good scores.

I was happy to be in Bangkok again, I planned to ask mom why dad moved out with me, but, I was too scared.. i didn't know how to ask her, she will probably start crying.. I didn't want my mommy to cry.

I wanted to tell her about Jane, but she's already dead.. there's no point of telling her when that person isn't with us anymore?.. right?

At a very young age i started overthinking, I couldn't help myself, I was always the confused one, I never understood anything and I was too scraed too ask. It's better to say nothing.

That night i heard mommy crying so hard in her room, I get her tho, I cried with her, but in my room, I couldn't believe that my dad is gone and i will never have dad again, I will never see him, I will never hug him.. even tho he was aggressive and horrible..he was still my one and only dad. :(