Meredith's Pain

29- Feelings

⚠️TW- Emetophobia

Arizona's POV

Oh now it's Meredith she's sick again. I quickly make my way towards the bathroom and what I feared was right. Carefully I held back Meredith's hair as she threw up, I'm not sure what's wrong with her she seemed find yesterday afternoon but now she's sick again.

A: mer you finished
I asked when she seemed to stop vomiting
M: mm, I think so
She groaned
A: ok let's get you in the shower then, get you feeling fresh
I suggested guessing she was feeling pretty gross, she just nodded and I helped her into the shower, there was already a seat in the shower which definitely made light easier, as she got undressed I saw she actually had very little bruises on her,
M: he's been having a good week this week
Meredith mumbled as I helped her get seated in the shower. As she sat in the shower I noticed how amazing her body was, over the last two weeks I've started to really notice how beautiful she is, and if I'm being honest I think I'm developing feelings for her, I need to tell Callie I know but I don't want to say anything if Meredith doesn't feel the same way.
M:zona?
I hear Meredith ask quietly from inside the shower
A: yeah I'm here is everything ok?
M: can you help me wash my hair, I can't reach the products
A: oh um sure but it's probably easier to wash it in the sick finish your shower then I'll help you wash it in the sink is that ok?
I ask, it's not a huge shower plus I would have to get undressed and I...I don't want her to see the scar on my leg I know it's ridiculous but whatever it doesn't matter.

Later that Day
After I helped Meredith wash her hair we went and sat in front of the tv for a while, it's hard I know I like her but I'm not sure she likes me.

Meredith's POV
I love sitting with Arizona she makes me feels so...so loved. Everything about her makes me happy, her giggle; the way she talk to the girls; her hair just everything, I can't remember the last time I felt like this, as I think back and try and remember, try and remember the time when I felt this safe and comfortable with a person. As I think I can't think of anyone except, oh no, no no no no no no, I can't, this isn't I can't like her no, I can feel my head starting to spin again I feeling I haven't had much since I've been around Arizona she makes me feel safe, but no no I can't be please no

Arizona's POV
I'm enjoying my time with Meredith when suddenly I start to hear her mumbling,
M:no no no please
What happened she was fine two second again, I feel her shake against me,
A: sh Mer it's ok take a deep breath,
I try and calm her but it's not working
M: I can't no, please
She just continues to cry, and now she's starting to push herself away from me
A: mer it's ok, sh
I try and calm her but it's not working, so instead I decide to start singing, I know it normally works
A: A fire burns, water comes
You cool me down when I'm cold inside
You are warm and bright
You know you are so good for me, yeah
With your child's eyes, you are more than you seem
You see into space, I see in your face
The places you've been, the things you have learned
They sit with you so beautifully, yeah
And you know there's no need to hide away
You know I tell the truth, we are just the same
And I can feel everything you do
Hear everything you say even when you're miles away
'Cause I am me, the universe and you
And just like stars burning bright
Making holes in the night
We are building bridges

Meredith's POV
I can still feel my thoughts spinning and I can't hear what Arizona is saying but as she starts to sing I can't make out the words but can feel the softness of the music, as she keeps seeing I start to be able to hear the words
A: And you know there's no need to hide away
You know I tell the truth, we are just the same
And I can feel everything you do
Hear everything you say, even when you're miles away
'Cause I am me, the universe and you, oh
I'm the universe and you, oh

When she finishes singing I turn to look at her it's true I have feelings for Arizona, as I think about it I start to freak out again but I think about the words she just sang to me and decide I need to tell her, tell her why I freaked out, she probably going to hate me for it but something deep inside tells me I'm wrong and that she will understand.

Arizona's POV

By the time I finish the song I can tell she's calm down, she's stopped shaking.
A: Meredith are you ok what happened,
I don't want to bombard her with questions but I don't know what it was that triggered her, and I want to help so I need to know.
M: I um, I think it's a long story.
Meredith sighs,
A: that's ok we've got time
M: um...I think... I kinda...maybe have feelings for you...um
Meredith's stammered, I tried to contain my excitement, I'm so glad Meredith has feelings for me but I have a feeling there is more to the reason.
M: um....well yeah...but I'm not meant to... I shouldn't...
Meredith continued, what was she talking about was it cause she was with Derek,
A: you don't have to feel bad about not liking Derek he isn't
M: no it's not that... I um... it's... I um... I'm not allowed...no I... in highschool...
I can see Meredith is staring to get worked up again,
A: hey, hey take a breath, here like me
I put her hand on my chest and take a deep breath. She then copies.
A: now, it's ok take your time, what caused you to freak out
M: I'm not meant to like you cause your, your a girl
Meredith mumbled, I sighed why would she think that she's always been so supportive of me and especially of Callie when she was figuring out what she liked,
A: why do you say that Mer? Your allowed to like whoever you want
M: that's not what they said
A: who said
M: the people
A: mer honey I need more information than that
M: the people my mum sent me to
Oh no...

Authors Note
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please pretend it's just Arizona singing in the song I actually had no idea there was a full version of this song until today and the lyrics fit the scene perfectly.
I mean poor Meredith, 
Leave your comments and suggestions I will try and respond to everyone.