Meredith's Pain

26- The funeral

⚠️TW Abuse and Mention of Death

Meredith's POV
When I woke up the next morning, my cheek was sore from yesterday and as I looked in the mirror I could see a purple bruise starting to form, I quickly got dressed and covered the bruise with some makeup before getting Zola ready for the day and heading down stairs. I'd just finished breakfast when Derek can down stairs,
M: good morning Derek,
D: morning, if my breakfast ready?
He asks and I smile, he's not always mean I have a good feeling about today
M: of course dear I made waffles today
D: good,
M: Derek am I allowed to eat breakfast with you today?
I ask, breakfast seems to be the one meal he doesn't mind having with me
D: that depends did you eat anything last night?
I quickly shake my head that's one of the reasons I'm hoping he says yes
D: I suppose but no waffles you can have fruit
M: thank you Derek
I smile quickly giving him a kiss on the cheek, see he's not actually too bad.
M: I've got PT today, what time are we leaving
I ask smiling as I sit across from him eating my fruit and helping Zola with her breakfast
D: we will leave at 9, whether you are in the car or not
I smile nodding at him that gives me 20min to finish getting ready.

Two Days Later,
Today is going to be a tough day, it's Lexie, Cristiana and Marks funeral, we decided to have a joint funeral for them. As we arrive at the funeral and I am already a bundle of emotions,
M: der,
D: what
He snaps at me
M: nothing it's ok
I reply, i don't want to annoy him I know today is a hard day for him as well. There are seats at the front of the funeral reserved me and Derek as well as for Molly, the Shepards and Cristians Mum as well as Arizona and Callie. Me and Arizona are seated next to each other.
A: are you ok?
I just nod trying to avoid getting to emotional.
A: it's ok mer I know this is a hard day for you.
She reached over and grabs my hand.
M: thanks zona
Through out the funeral I struggle to keep my emotions intact, a fear a breakdown is going to hit me any second. As I see them begin to lower the coffin it's more than I can take and I break down in tears. I turn towards Derek for comfort but instead he pulls me to him and whispers in my ear
D: you selfish bitch I told you to keep it together today isn't about you
As I listen to what he has to say I try and compose myself he's right I don't need to draw attention to myself this day is meant to be about Mark and Lexie and Cristiana. I turn away from Derek this time meeting the embrace of Arizona,
A: it's ok mer,
I enjoy her embrace but quickly try and compose myself I'm some what effective but it was hard, and it was still clear I was crying.
D: I can't believe you Meredith you are so selfish you will pay for this at home,
Derek whispers into my ear as I try and dry my tears. The funeral finished and people wish us the best and pay their respects, it was hard to not breakdown again but I could feel Derek's hand on my back and that was reminder enough to keep it together. Soon it was just Derek, Arizona, Callie and myself left. Callie took Sofia to the car, I quickly said goodbye to her before turning back to Arizona. I didn't want to leave I know once I left Derek was going to hurt me and although I deserved it on some level I also know Arizona was right and that if he loved me he wouldn't hurt me.
A: are you ok Mer?
I quickly nodded trying to avoid attention from Derek

Arizona's POV
I feel so bad for Meredith today is such a hard day her sister and her best friend, she seem off though I have a bad feeling this has to do with Derek.
I try to check on her throughout the day but she's being quite dismissive it makes me scared for her
A: are you ok Mer?
I ask but she just quickly nods, she's definitely trying to hide something, but I don't want to push her I don't want to do something to anger Derek.
A: ok well I'll see you at PT tomorrow, yeah
I ask looking right into her eyes, hoping she realised I was trying to let her know I would help her tomorrow.
M: sounds good
She reply's looking back into my eyes

Meredith's POV
I can tell Arizona wants to help but right now I need her to leave me alone, I can see in her eyes she finally gets it, I hug her goodbye before turning and making my way back to the car.

Once at Home
The second we make it home I can see Derek anger fuming.
D: hurry up and get inside,
I try my best but I'm obviously not fast enough as Derek grabs me and drags me inside dumping me on the lounge room floor. Right now I'm very glad Zola is at a baby sisters.
D: you selfish bitch what do you have to say for yourself!!
He yells standing over me
D: huh, now you have nothing to say!!! Today wasn't about you, selfish whore, it was about Mark and Lexie and Cristina. Not you!!! But you made it all about your self, with your little show!!!
M: I didn't mean to I'm sorry I was just upset I lost my sister and my best friend
D: yeah so did I Meredith, I lost mark!!! But you don't see making a scene do you!!!
He yells again this time getting in my face
M: I'm sorry
I cry trying my best not to upset him more.
D: shut up
He yells slapping me across the face
D: you have no right to be sad!!!
He yells
M: it was my sister der please
I cry
M: and my best friend
D: ha best friend yeah well you definitely don't get to be upset about her your the reason she's dead
M: that's not true
D: yes it is!! You couldn't even get out of the way of that stupid tree, your the reason Cristina is dead
M: no I'm not please
D: yes you are!!
He yelled pulling me close to him by my hair
M: ahhh!!!
I yell
D: shut up, it's your fault you killed Cristina
M: no
D: yes
He said this time smirking
I didn't did I it wasn't my fault...was it
D: if only you'd used what little brain you had and moved out from under that tree
Derek yelled he was right it was my fault, I killed Cristiana...

Authors Note
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