Meredith's Pain

18- A discovery

Arizona POV in PT session

Now it was my turn to start my PT, as I grabbed my crutches I made my way towards the bars I'd been using to walk. It was hard to walk on my leg, due to the infection. Although I still had my leg it was like it didn't want to do what I was telling it to do. Carefully I was able to make three steps between the bar using them to take majority of my weight so I could focus on just getting my leg to move. My sections of the session where often very slow but I was making progress quite quickly in redeveloping the muscle in my leg, but it still felt like I was achieving nothing.
Next it was time to try kicking a ball, it seemed to easy but as I attempted to actually do it, it was so much harder than I'd thought it would be.
PT: good job Arizona your doing so well, I know it's hard but just keep trying you'll get it.
Our physical therapist encouraged.
PT: keep trying I'll be back in just a moment I just need to get the exercise bands for you to practice with at home and while I'm there I'll grab Meredith's compression sock to help with your alignment,
He explained before quickly ducking out of the room.

Meredith's POV

Arizona was doin so well with her PT, I could tell it was hard but she was doing so well. As she tried ti kick the ball I could tell she was getting frustrated, as  our physical therapist left I could see she was getting really annoyed at not being able to kick the balls. I watched as she tried again to kick one of the balls but it just rolled slightly as her foot came into contact with it, it wasn't nothing but it was till small.
I watched as in anger she picked up the ball and throw it, as she throw it, it can right towards me. I had to stop myself for a second from freaking out she hadn't thrown it at me it was ok, but my mind was already starting to spin,
M: Arizona it's ok, you'll get there
I tried to calm her down ignoring the swirling thoughts in my head.
A: How can you say the Meredith, it's not ok, I can't even kick a ball!
She yelled, as she started yelling I felt my thoughts start to spin faster and slowly I felt it start to go blank I couldn't even focus on what was going on

Arizona POV

Crap I didn't mean to yell at Meredith, I carefully turn around to look at her and realise she's now tucked up in a ball rocking back and forth on the bed she was sitting on. Oh god what have I done, carefully I walk over to her and see that she's crying. I reach out my hand to her, but she flinched away from it, I don't know what's happening. I just stand and observe her for a minute but as I got to touch her she flinches and I realise she has accidentally starting peeing, as I look closer I realise what's going on. I think back through all the time I've spend with Meredith. Thinking about it now I don't know how I missed it.

I thought about the day her mother got brought in her intern year. The way she had hid behind the wall,

The way she reacted when she nearly drowned, she hadn't spoken to anyone much.

The more I thought out it the more it became clear,
Her reaction to getting in trouble, I remember noticing she seemed to physically shrink away from people.
Then during the time we spent in the woods, it made sense, I hadn't realised at the time but the way she spoke to me know was clear, the way singing had helped her calm down.

Poor Meredith, whether consciously or subconsciously she was using age regression as a coping mechanism, it was so clear now. Carefully I sat down beside her, pulling her into my lap. At first she fought me, but as I started to sing into her ear she called down, and slowly her tears stopped.

Meredith's POV
My head started to clear as I heard Arizona start singing to me, as my thoughts became real again I realised I was sitting in her lap, just as I started to feel calm again I realised I'd peed again, Oh my god how could I do that. I quickly pushed myself of Arizonas lap, what was she going to say how could I be so stupid, she's going to hate me now, I mean I deserve it.
M: Arizona, I'm so sorry please I'm sorry.