I should be your Beta, not your Mate

Side-Story: 4

Of course, I was scared. Yes, hell, who wouldn't be? But admitting to it felt horrible.

Was I wrong to go on such a defense? Maybe.

Could he... possibly not hate me? I wasn't sure.

I wasn't sure of anything anymore.

Would it really be better if I were part of a pack? Could we live together then? Could he... accept me?

»Keith, it isn't your fault. He didn't know. You were just as clueless as he was. You tried to stay with your mate, you did nothing else. You were respectful and nice to him. They can blame you, he can blame you, yes. But that won't change the fact that you only marked him because you wanted to get to know him. And even if he would have rejected you in the end, you would have tried to stay away.«

His words hurt. Not because they were true but because I had done all of that and it still wasn't enough to make him stay with me.

The tears I had tried suppressing broke free and streamed down my cheeks.

Why weren't I born as a human? Or why wasn't he born as a wolf? Everything would have been easier. So much easier.

»I think I should go back to class«, I mumbled and wiped the non-stopping tears off my cheeks. »You sure?«

Slowly I nodded. »I can't stay away any longer. It's important, I can't miss more readings than I already have.«

It would be straining to pay attention to the professor with my current injuries but I needed to go. Everyday was important and I had never missed a reading before. Sure, it shouldn't matter right now, but it nagged at my perfect student ego.

»Tomorrow then?«, my father asked and stood up. Stretching his back and sighing heavily. »Yes...« Tomorrow, I would face whatever was going to happen to me.

***

The next morning came soon and I left early for the reading. I wanted to avoid the big crowd in the subway. My injuries thanked me for that.

The big reading hall was still empty when I sat down in one of the middle rows. Sighing I leaned forward and used my arms as a pillow. I was still tired and the long way to get here strained me painfully.

After some time other students came in and sat down and after more time passing the professor finally began the reading.

I took my notes and listened as good as possible. It was manageable, though my body was already tired.

At the end, I waited for everyone to get out before I stood up and supported my body on the long tables and the rows. My hand laid heavily on my stomach and I wasn't quite sure if I was bleeding again.

I should take a look at it before I took the risk of collapsing on the way back home.

Inside the cabin of a toilet, I pulled my shirt off and saw the already red bandage. »Shit«, I cursed and sat down on the toilet to save some energy.

The bleeding wasn't heavy or dangerous. Thank god. However, I was still bleeding. If I should move now, I could make it worse.

Should I call my father?

I pulled out my new phone from my backpack and picked out his contact before calling him. The call didn't go through.

»Dammit.«

Leaning back, I closed my eyes and thought for a second.

Carlyle was still in class. Mother could be a possibility but either way she would be too small to carry me. Emma already returned to her husband, so my father was the only one that could come pick me up.