A New Reflection

22. Cocktails

The following afternoon, Krista informs me that Cora and Leyla have made friends with some of the third-year students who live in the on-campus apartments, and they have invited us all for cocktails.

"On a Sunday?" I ask, bewildered by the entire situation.

"Yeah, it's low-key. Not a party, just a classy gathering in the evening. Come on, it'll be fun."

Cocktails. I'm eighteen years old, and my lips have never touched alcohol. Never have I been moved by the desire to try drinking, nor have I been in a position to have to decide whether or not to accept or decline a drink. Screw it.

"Okay."

I've already finished my Spanish composition and completed my history reading assignments for tomorrow.

To fill the time gap, I jog around South Campus for almost an hour, then use the weight machines in the gym. For the past four years, I have been enrolled in sports year-round, and my body is accustomed to daily two-hour workouts. It feels natural to continue this workout regiment. There is also a secret part of me that frets I will gain weight if I let up on the exercise my body has come to expect.

Once showered and back in my dorm, Krista chats idly at me while I attempt to read. Soon bubbly voices fill the hallway outside our room, and the rest of the girls from our group file in. Shia is carrying multiple dresses on hangers, and Cora clutches an oversized, gold-colored makeup bag. My stomach is immediately contracting into tight lumps.

The girls begin readying themselves for our random gathering with what I can only imagine are very good-looking upperclassmen, judging by the amount of effort they put into their makeup and outfit selections. Cora is particularly giddy.

In my claustrophobic walk-in closet, I hastily change into the one and only decent garment I brought with me to college—the multi-colored dress I wore the night Alex caressed my naïve teenage heart with fifteen shades of eye-contact over greasy burgers at Chili's. My heart flutters with longing and disappointment at the memory of the most exhilarating experience of my life, which never fully coalesced.

"That dress looks amazing on you!" Krista compliments as I step out, and I feel everyone's smiling eyes on me.

"Natalia has the most amazing legs. I'm so jealous of your legs!" Leyla squeals, and my face pulses with the expansion of hot blood rippling under my skin.

The room buzzes with breezy chatter as the girls apply eyeliner, suggest lipstick colors and swap shoes with one another. I have applied a careless swipe of eyeshadow and mascara inside my closet. It doesn't matter if I took more time with my makeup, because I would have no idea what to do anyway.

Boredom and awkwardness soon overtake me, and I invent small tasks to keep myself occupied. I search through my small collection of earrings, selecting my favorite pair, and I place a bracelet around my wrist that my Tía Leti gave me along with this dress.

"Nati." Cora pronounces my name with a subtle, almost secretive tone from across the tiny room, where she's seated on the edge of Krista's bed. She flashes me a mischievous half-smile, and I raise my eyebrows inquisitively, inviting her to continue.

"Do you like Kamden?" she inquires. Thankfully, the volume in the room has increased, and no one else is paying attention to our conversation. Her question catches me completely off-guard, and rather than taking a moment to process and consider a response, I reply with a knee-jerk reaction.

"No," I answer automatically, shaking my head firmly. "No, I don't." Why is she even asking me this? Kamden is cool and witty and handsome... and not on my level.