After the Twilight (Iska Series #1)

20

"Are you okay?" Enzo inches closer to me, squeezing my hands tighter as he bores his gaze into my eyes. Halos parang nagmamakaawa na siya habang tinititigan ako, his eyes carry so much pleading, surfacing beyond the intensity of it all. "Please baby," he says through almost a whisper, "say something. Tell me what you need."

Namangha ako sa kung papaanong napakaraming emosyon ang kayang bitbitin ng mga mata niya. They were always dark and intense---like there were always dark shadows looming around his bright hazel orbs, and yet at the same time they can look calm and steady, and right now---vulnerable.

He's looking at me like I'm both a dream and a nightmare.

Hindi ko masyadong matantsiya kung anong klaseng emosyon ba ang ang nananaig sa kanya ngayon. Kung galit ba ito dahil sa lakas ng natural na intensidad ng mga mata niya, o pag-aalala dahil sa kung papaano niya ako titigan na tila bang maglalaho na lang ako na parang bula.

However, unlike the many moments that I have allowed myself to analyze the conundrum that he is, hindi ko mahayaan ang sarili na titigan lang siya ngayon at intindihin kung ano ba ang ibig sabihin ng lahat. The only thing in my head right now is that he is here, in the most unconventional of situations, he is here. When I am in the depths of my loneliness, he is here.

At the moment when I have felt the most alone, he is here—holding my hand, ridding the coldness from the tip of my fingers and blanketing them with the warmth of his.

I want to say something, but I don't know what. When I opened my mouth, a sob escapes, and I could no longer help but just fall into him.

Automatically, he wraps his arms around me, catching me, adjusting his body so he's cradling me as my cries fill the silence between us. He catered to me so smoothly, like a well-choreographed dance.

It's like he just knows what to do.

Hinigpitan niya ang hawak sa akin, holding me tight as if I was going to disappear. Mahigpit rin ang hawak ko sa damit niya---I grip his shirt tight as I bawl against his neck. But my cries are different. Kung kanina ay puno ng hinagpis at kalungkutan ang mga iyak ko, this time it is of relief. Relief, because for so long I didn't feel alone, na parang sa kabila ng lahat ng kadiliman na nagtangkang ubusin ako ay may liwanag na pilit akong binibigyang daan para maka-ahon. 

I can't stop my tears because I feel seen. And there is this warmth, along with the very presence of him, that dawns over me that is both overwhelming and comforting altogether.

I was found when I didn't even know I needed to be.

He found me when I didn't even know I was lost. 

"It's okay," he whispers as he holds the back of my head ever so gently, "you're okay. You got me," he continues, softly rubbing the tips of his fingers against my scalp. 

I don't know how long we stayed that way, or how he managed to get me up, but I find myself curled up on the front seat of his car. My head is leaning against the window as I stare at the road that has been changing colors with the city lights. 

I turn to him slightly. Tahimik at seryoso siyang nakatanaw sa daan, ang isang kamay sa manibela, ang isa nakahawak sa gearstick. Ang imahe niya ang huli kong alaala bago ako dalawin ng antok, at hindi ko namalayang nakatulog na pala ako. 

When I wake up, I feel the slowness of the car. Agad kong natanaw ang dagat ng maidilat ko ang aking mga mata. It is dark outside, but I am sure of the sight of the ocean by the road we're traveling on. 

"You're awake." 

I turn to Enzo at the sound of his voice. He smiles at me, reaching out to run a hand over my head before he returns his attention to the road and speeds up the car. I wonder how long we've been driving. Siguro malayo-layo na rin kami dahil nasa may dagat na kami.