After the Twilight (Iska Series #1)

18

Pain is an unwanted visitor that sticks around whether you allow it or not. It knocks on your door and barges in and leaves whenever it pleases. When it comes to pain, there isn't really much of a choice but to just feel it, and let it break you in and out. For a lot of people, breaking is a good thing, because it allows them to put themselves back together and be stronger versions of themselves, it gives them a new perspective, and it draws them to a new point of view in life. 

However, for some, for those whose pain comes full cycle all year round, for those who know nothing else but pain, it allows them the power to stop feeling. Because the pain has been so much for so long, and there is nothing else to feel, they've started to just feel nothing instead. 

There are people with so much pain that they have no more tears left to shed and silence has become their loudest cry. 

"Ces."

I turn to Ada when she nudges me with her elbow, pulling me out of the depths of my thoughts. 

"Are you paying attention? Tulala ka diyan," saad ni Leo, sitting in front of us. "You haven't even touched your food."

I let out a small smile and shake my head, picking up my fork. "Yes, sorry. I was just trying to think of something, pero wala akong maisasuggest eh." 

It's a lie. These days, when I'm not deliberately forcing myself to drown in schoolwork, ay kusang lumilipad nalang ng utak ko sa kawalan. There was so much to think about that my brain just decides to go blank as if trying to preserve my peace in the form of nothingness. 

Leo lets out a sigh, crossing his arms on top of the table. 

"Malapit na kasi ang birthday ni Demi," he mutters, "after everything that she's been through, she deserves something nice on her birthday. I wonder what she wants."

I let out a breath and lean forward, following Leo's position, crossing my arms over the table. "I think we all know what she wants for her birthday, kaya lang impossible. She just wants them back."

Leo nods slowly. "I know," he says. "Nakaka-awa naman kasi, she must be in so much pain. We really need to do something for her." 

"Maybe we can surprise her?" Ada suggests.

I let out a sigh and shake my head. "I don't think so. She's had enough surprises already."

"Well, a good kind of surprise."

I nod my head. "I guess, pwede naman."

Bago pa man makapagsalita ay tumunog na ang alarm ni Leo, reminding him of his class. Agaran itong tumayo at niligpit ang mga gamit. 

"Shoot, I have to get to class. I'll see you this afternoon," he rushes around the table. "Baka may maisip ka ha? You're always the best at planning," he says, gently pressing his hand on the top of my head before he sprints away. 

I let out a small smile and nod my head, returning my attention to my untouched food. 

"Hay nako," Ada mutters, "I feel so bad for Demi. After one funeral after another, ang dami dami nya pang inaasikaso. I'm glad her professors are very giving of her. Halos dalawang buwan na din siyang hindi nakakapasok masyado."

Tahimik akong tumango. It is quite worrisome, thinking about Demi and her situation. Lalo na at graduating student ito, pero I know her capabilities. Magaling siya, kahit mukhang pabaya. And I know for sure hindi rin siya papayag na hindi makahabol, especially now when an empire is leaning on her. 

"Anyways, mauna na ako, Ces ha," paalam ni Ada, "I have to meet my classmates sa lib eh, we have this group homework for Mathematical Physics, tapos ang hirap pang intindihin. I feel like I'm losing my mind."