After the Twilight (Iska Series #1)

02

Tulala akong naglalakad habang nakasunod ako sa lalaking nakilala ko kanina sa bar. Hawak nya ang kamay ko as we walked through the halls of the condominium that we basically walked to from Valkyrie. Hindi ko malaman kung matutuwa ba ako na walking distance lang from the bar yung condo ng lalaking ito. Siguro if I was less sober, I'd see this as a good thing. 

However, habang naglalakad kami, I felt myself slowly sobering up. Maybe from the wind, or the walking, or maybe from the intense beating of my heart from when he held my hand and pulled me out of the bar.

I learned one thing about myself tonight. Kung madali man akong malasing, madali rin ako mahimasmasan. Along with the onslaught of my sobriety is the slow resurfacing of my rationality. Bigla akong naging aware sa lahat ng bagay---his intoxicating minty smell, the softness of his palm, the confidence in his strides, but most of all, naging aware ako sa katangahang nagawa ko at gagawin pa yata. 

I'm not exactly a hundred percent sober but sober enough to have a loose grip of rationality. 

Sa elevator pa lang ay kumakalabog na ang puso ko. At that point, malinaw na sa akin kung ano ang nagawa ko because of the influence of alcohol. Doon ko na na realize how stupid and uncalculated my actions were. Halos gusto ko ng takpan ang mukha ko noon sa hiya at kaba, tahimik na nagdadasal na kainin ako ng lupa. 

Alam kong kusa naman akong sumama ng niyaya ako ng lalaki pero kung tutuusin ako naman talaga ang nag insinuate. 

Kaya lang, sa gitna ng pag-aalinlangan ko ay lumingon sa akin ang lalaki at muli ay naramdaman ko ang pagkawala ko sa wisyo. His eyes are so striking, I can't help but get lost in them. And it wasn't helping that I could smell his intoxicating scent more, lalo na't kaming dalawa lang noon sa elevator. 

I had already devised a plan to make a run for it when the elevator doors split open, kaya lang when I found myself drowning in the deep depths of his stares and the alluring scent of his intoxicating perfume, parang nakalimutan ko na rin ang planong pagtakas at kalaunan sumama sa kanya palabas. 

I watch him punch in a code on the electronic lock outside of what I assume is his unit. When he pushed the door open, he stepped aside and looked at me, as if encouraging me to get inside. Hindi naman mahigpit ang hawak niya sa aking kamay, in fact, he held it with so much gentleness. I can easily pry my hands out of his hold and make a run for it, pero ewan ko, probably still driven by the rebellious impulse and what's left of my intoxication ay pumasok ako sa loob. 

Madilim ng pumasok ako, with only the flashing lights of the city below seeping through the massive floor-to-ceiling windows. Kahit wala akong masyadong makita ay batid ako ang kalakihan ng lugar. This is a penthouse unit for sure. 

I flinch when some of the lights suddenly turned on, radiating a gentle warm orange hue from the cove lighting on the ceiling. Agad na nabuhay ang lugar at nakita ko kung gaano ka mamahalin ang kanyang mga gamit. 

When I feel his stares boring into the back of my head, biglang lumakas muli ang pintig ng puso ko. I can feel his presence in the room, and it is so loud, yelling at me to turn around. I take in a shaky and heavy breath as I slowly turn on my heel, biting my bottom lip as I look up at him. 

And when our eyes meet, I feel a shiver run down my spine. 

Nakatayo siya sa bulwagan ng pintuan, looking at me. His stares are so intense that it almost feels like he's staring right into my soul. I shudder, holding his stare. Nakakakaba ang mga titig niya pero for some reason I also can't look away. 

When he starts to walk towards me, bigla akong nakaramdam ng kaba. Gosh, this is it. 

What the hell am I doing?