🏳️‍🌈2023 PRIDE🏳️‍🌈: pan

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hello mommy is here and writing again *stabs both of my eyes out*

uh this oneshot is about pansexuality

and yeah.

it's as straightforward as you can fuckin get

also idk how to write pansexuality tbh so like technically this is just straight sex well actually is not straight but OK SO BASICALLY UNDERLYING FACTOR IS, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU WRITE PANSEXUAL SEX

I'm struggling so plz don't yell at me cuz this is technically a boy and girl having sex but also wildly not so

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girl pan pov
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I'm just chilling on a shelf in a cabinet full pans.

yes like cooking pans.

I am girl pan and I am pan so I like all pans- no matter what gender pan they are.

here is a picture of me: 

as you can see I am a very hot and sexy pan ahaha and I love everyone because I am girl pan who is pan

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as you can see I am a very hot and sexy pan ahaha and I love everyone because I am girl pan who is pan.

my dream one day is to be an emo pan and to have an emo pan bf who has pan pan sex with me.

I am so alone of the shelf until a hot sexy hot strong emo stainless steel boy pan slides over to me.

"yo girl u r so hot and such a sexy pan. my name is HEMKOMST. are u straight or like are you ltgptbq..? he asks.

for reference, this is him: 

"actually no HEMKOMST I am a girl pan who is pan as in pansexual but ur stainless steel coating is really turning me on" I say, as I feel my handle getting soaked in my own

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"actually no HEMKOMST I am a girl pan who is pan as in pansexual but ur stainless steel coating is really turning me on" I say, as I feel my handle getting soaked in my own... slick? (a/n: what the actual fuck am I writing)

"good cuz baby girl I actually am also pan. I'm a boy pan who is pan but I think ur so hot but not because of ur gender but because ur hot." He says huskily, stepping closer to me. "do you is want to sex with me because we are both pan pans and I really want to sex because I am aroused."

his bluntness made my theoretical pan pussy throb.

"yes HEMKOMST, please insert yourself inside me. I want your theoretical pan penis to fill me up and breed me."

I could see the list in his eyes, and then he kissed me hard and passionately.

he then got up and inside me, much like how you stack pans in a kitchen cabinet, and started having sex with me.

us rn fr: 

it felt amazing- he was grinding his bits on my bits

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it felt amazing- he was grinding his bits on my bits. his handle was grinding on my handle in just the right places.

I could feel our slick sliding together, and making no noise because the author is trying to imagine how this would work and she just simply can't.

the only sounds in the room were out moans and the sound of cookware literally banging together (pun intended)

"uuuhhghh b hhhgngghhnguhhhvnnnnn s-s-s-senpai HEMKOMST, i-i-im close' I manage to stutter out in a fit of ecstasy.

"don't worry kitten, daddy will make u finish. you are MINE princess" he said devilishly.

he then stuck his tongue out and started licking my sensitive handle, adding a whole other world of sensations and pleasure.

before I knew it, I came hard and fast.

so fast, that I squirted my pan pan pussy juices everywhere.

the kitchen cabinet was soaked, and we were both coated with a thin layer of my squirt.

HEMKOMST came not shortly after, getting his seed all over my face.

"mmm baby girl I think that was the best pan pan sex I've ever had. please have sex with me again sometime." He said.

"yes HEMKOMST please. next time please impregnate me with your pan pan seed so we can have babies."

"yep. sure thing. have a nice day." He said, while shaking my squirt coated hand.

"bye." I said formally.

and then he slid? off to the other corner of the cabinet, back into place along side all the other pans that are staring at us in horror as they just watched us have a passionate pan lovemaking session. 

The roaches in the corner also look terrified tbh.

idc about their opinons because me and him are special- because we are pan pans.

woooo go pan pride yeayyyyyhggggghyhhhhhhhh I love pansexuality and being pan while also being pan!!

i also love crystal meth !!  Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 


thee endd
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yeah this oneshot sucked dont mention it. 

this whole chapter is a mega flop but I thought it was a funny idea hahahahahahhahaha PLEASE SAY IT WAS FUNNY

also idk if all the pictures stayed because the formatting got fucked up every time I tried adding the pictures so el oh el

but I ended up having to get on my pc to add the pictures ugh what a great author I am-putting all this extra work in n shit 

anyways im done bye bye

have a good day my lil meow meows

-xoxoxoxoxxo mommy author

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