One Summer with the Sinner (Monteverde Series 5)

44

Chapter Forty-Four

ALEXIANA CALLISTO

The morning is beautiful.

The fresh gentle breeze made the leaves swish and rustle. The frogs croaked in the distance. Crickets chirped in the background. The sun wasn't too hot, the weather wasn't too humid, and overall, it seemed like it has the potential to be the perfect day.

I closed my eyes, thinking of all the things in this life that I am thankful of, but in the darkness, it's Vane's face that I see – that black hair and perfect tan that he now sports, those lips that have kissed me a hundred times, and those eyes, electric blue, that I always find myself lost in.

After I got back to the table last night, Alexander noticed how shaken up I was. He spoke to me in rapid French, asking what had happened. I could have lied, as I have always done in the past. I could have told him that there was a queue in the restroom that held me up, but I found myself telling him the truth – all of it, down to the tiniest detail I could think of. From the way Vane was breathing heavily as if he was controlling his actions, to the way hesitation flashed in his eyes at the very last moment before he walked away. That scene has seared itself permanently in my mind.

Him and I, we're an impossibility.

I could sense that my twin brother wanted to say something else, but he kept it simple, light, comforting even. He said something that he knew I wanted to hear. He said I'm going to be alright. And I smiled at him, and I looked around us and smiled at our family who was busy talking and laughing over the finest of meals and the most expensive of wines.

This is my life - the life I was born for, the life that I will always have, the life I can never escape.

I nodded slowly, and replied, "I know. I know I'm going to be alright."

Because why wouldn't I be? Why shouldn't I be?

He squeezed my hand from under the table and I returned the gesture, knowing we both lied. Because it's not going to be alright. Not for me. Not for a long while. And he knows it. And I know it, too. But I put up my front, and pull all the guards back up, so no one sees how incredibly broken I really am.

All my thoughts about yesterday's dinner came into a halt when I saw my younger brother – Zade – walk out of the house. He smiled when he saw me and started walking closer. He looked like he had just gotten out of bed, too.

"Good morning, Ate."

"Good morning. You ready to go back home?"

He looked at me funny and shrugged. "I should be the one asking you that. Are you?"

"Why won't I be?" I countered, knowing I sounded so defensive.

"Vane." His certainty when he mentioned Vane's name out loud surprised me. My family, except for Alexander that is, tiptoes at this topic. They try to avoid telling me things that might upset me or might remind me of him. Except for that time Daze showed me the article about the accident Vane's been on, they've all been doing a pretty good job.

"What about him?" I tried to play it cool, casual.

"You still love him, don't you?"

"Does it matter?" I answered fast, trying to hide my surprise. My younger brother doesn't usually like to talk about relationships with any of us. He mostly keeps to himself and spends most of his time with his classic books. Whenever he engages in conversation with the family, he keeps his replies clipped and rarely do we get to see his playful nature. I guess Daze is one of the few people who can break his concentration and calm demeanor.