Pills of love

I wonder (part 2)

Frida closed her eyes again when the ticking of the clock on the chest of drawers really started to get on her nerves. Except that annoying monotonous noise was the only thing around her that kept her grounded, closed up in her bedroom, away from the noise of the world outside. Everything seemed distant in there, everything seemed to be still. Only that hated ticking reminded her that she was awake and she needed to get moving.

The house was completely silent. The kids weren't there, she had dismissed the housekeepers for the day and Benny was at the studio.

She sighed deeply and grabbed her necklace with one hand, starting to play with it as she folded her legs against her chest, lying on the bed.

Her gaze drifted slowly to her right, to Benny's side of the bed. Contrasting with the teal duvet was a colorful plastic packet and a notebook.

It had been chaotic weeks, full of events, commitments, unwanted ailments that had lasted for a long time. All of that had contributed to raising the bar of anxiety and frustration for everyone. Agnetha because she couldn't find the right tune without her playing her part in the studio; Björn because they were behind; Stig because he had to mediate between everyone's jitters; Benny because that tension blocked his inspiration; and she.

She, who hated being sick, she, who hated slowing down others.

She, who had completely lost count.

She ran a hand over her face and picked up the notebook again, as she had been doing for days now. 5 weeks. Her last period was 5 weeks ago. 5.

How could she have not noticed?

That day, as for some days now, she had had a sensation of cramps and pain in her lower abdomen. Nothing major, but she had finally linked it to the arrival of her period. And yet nothing. It had happened that day too and she was convinced that the time had come, that she had had so many thoughts in vain and therefore she had also taken a new pack of tampons almost as a superstition. And yet nothing.

"Oh gosh..." she muttered, burying her face in her hands, tossing the notebook back onto the bed.

The ticking of the clock came back into her head like a jackhammer and she sighed, as if to give herself courage.

She got out of bed and went to the bathroom, stopping at the door, looking inside where a small white box was waiting for her on the sink, ready to use.

"Let's do it" Frida said to no one exactly, but giving herself the necessary encouragement to take those last steps towards... who knows.

With trembling fingers, she opened the little box and read the instructions. She knew how it worked, but she needed to make sure again. It was simple enough.

When she finished, she started to walk around the room for the next 15 minutes, the bathroom's door open, guarding her answer.

She knew she was. She knew she was pregnant, because... Well, she just knew.

That changed everything. In her life, in her work, in her wedding ... She shivered slightly and sighed... Benny... Woah... That was a chapter that she wasn't ready to open at the time.

She jolted when her cell phone's alarm clock began to ring. Already 15 minutes had passed...

Taking a deep breath, she marched into the bathroom and gripped the test quickly.

Two lines.

"Fuck...".

***

All day, she had continued her day as always, but in a completely different way too. She absentmindedly closed the bottle of peach juice and put it back in the fridge, then taking her place at the counter and looking somewhere unseen in front of her.