I have kids so what?

Chapter 26

Confederate pov.

I'm helping Dela teach the states and neither Lone Star or Alaska left my side. It's nearing the end of the class time and they're finished with the assigned work.

"Okay kiddos since you're all finished, do any of yall have questions that ain't on that sheet y'all've got?" I asked them.

"I have one Uncle Dixie." Ala asked.

"Go for it Ala" I encouraged. As Ala was about to ask I stood up so I could turn and face them all to show they had my full attention.

"What happened before the war that made you act out?" Ala asked me, the question catchin me off guard. As I was tryin to think of an answer I kept thinking back to the way I was in the flashback.

"What happened was-" I froze when instead of just thinking back to before to be able to construct an answer, I had a flash of me hurtin Lone Star real bad.

"Uncle Confed, are you alright?" Dela asked. I just stood there, reminded how I would've hurt them all had I found 'em. My hands are lightly shaking but I don't really register it.

"Uncle Dixie?" Lone Star asked, sounding genuinely concerned. I completely stopped at the sound of Lone Star's voice.

"I'm jus' fine kid" I said shakily, trying to hide the wave of fear I felt.
I back up slightly tryin to distance myself knowing I could hurt all of 'em and had before.

"Don't lie Uncle Dixie, tell us what's wrong" Mississippi replied. I look at Missi. I don't want to hurt 'em.

"M'not lyin kid, yall can go early if y'all'd like" I return trying to give them a way to get away from me. The states share a look and decide to stay put.

"We ain't leavin Uncle Dixie." Bama told me pointedly. I had been backing away from 'em slowly this whole time and I jolted as my back hit the wall.

"Uncle?" Lone Star asked me, his voice the closest out of everyone's. I stare at him my voice caught in my throat with another burst of fear. The shakin in my hands startin to get worse. I felt Lone Star hug me. I couldn't react, outta fear that'd I'd end up hurtin 'em again. I slowly slid down the wall, my breathin' pickin up as the urge to run away and save them from myself grew.

"Tío Dixie, calmarte por favor, estamos aquí para ayudarte." Lone Star told me in fluent Spanish. (Uncle Dixie, calm down please, we're here to help you.) I shook my head, I didn't catch all of it but understood the gist they weren't leavin'. At the though I got more anxious, my breath coming out in gasps. Despite the shakin however I refused to move as if doing so would give them permission to hurt the kids.

"Uncle Dixie, please calm down some, we only wanna help." Nessee told me calmly. Hearing her and seeing the distance between me and the kids made the fear worse. I tried to calm my breathin' to comfort the kids but all its doing is making it harder to breath.

"Guys back up and let me try to help 'em, it's probably somethin' to do with the civil war." Lone Star told his siblin's. I watch the kids as they all back up to the otherside of the room. The fear went down a bit, however at this point I cant stop shakin' and despite tryin to calm down my breathin gets worse. My chest rapidly rising and falling trying to take in air.

"It's gonna be ok Uncle, match my breathin' please." Lone Star told me, evening out his breathing. I tried to focus on him but then I heard the kids whisperin and the fear escalated. They're still in the room, I could still hurt 'em.

Texas pov.

I'm sittin next to Uncle Dixie, tryin to help him calm down, but it ain't workin. I looked over to my siblin's and nodded to Dela to call dad so he could help. Once I see Dela start the call I turn back to Uncle Dixie.