Maid For You 4

Chapter 83

An indignant flare fired in my chest. "You are very harsh on your own son."

"You may see it that way, but despite my love for him, I can acknowledge his shortcomings. We all have them, and I find his past behavior with women will make it difficult for him to be the man you will need as the years go by."

"Coleman and I are not engaged," I started. "But if we did get engaged, that would mean he loves me, I mean really loves me."

King Collin sighed. "Indeed, if Coleman were to propose, it would be a sign of his love, but that doesn't mean it will be a lasting love." He glanced down at me—the color of his eyes was surprisingly light and soft for such a severe looking man. "I have been married some 27 years and have been King for about the same amount of time. Let me teach you something about love and the way of kings."

I dug my fingernails into my palm.

"When you first fall in love, it's a euphoric feeling. In some ways, it's something you can hardly control. I'm sure Coleman has said things like he hadn't wanted to fall in love, but now he is in love with you. As if it were involuntary."

I said nothing. So what? I thought. Love comes when you least expect it.

"But that sort of feeling does not last forever, Miss Carmichael. You regain faculty of your senses, and you find that the world is not always rose-colored."

"That seems rather bleak," I said. "Is the Queen aware of your apathy?" It was a terrible thought. She always spoke well of her husband, and in the end, perhaps he didn't love her at all.

He glanced at me, his face stony and unreadable. "When Klara and I were young, my heart would pound when I would see her. She consumed my thoughts, distracted me in my work. I constantly craved her touch, was counting down the moments when I would see her next. I was very much in love."

"And now?" I felt miserable.

"Those intense feelings have faded. My heart may not always pound when I see her, but I am filled with a comfort and peace. Klara does not overpower my thoughts, but she is always in the back of my mind. I wonder what her input would be in certain situations, how any decisions I make will impact her. I love my wife dearly. It's not the roller-coaster, breath-taking sort of love of our youth, but a steady, constant love. It's a choice more than a helpless state of being. We both choose to put the other person first, to keep each other in consideration, to spend time together, to nurture our marriage."

I was surprised to see a soft smile on his face, the sort of smile Coleman sometimes wore that made me feel gushy inside. It was a quiet, content smile instead of a bold and ostentatious grin, like the love he described between himself and his wife.

"I know her very intimately, as she does me," he said. "And because of that, I love her more than I ever could have when we were young." The King looked down at me, his smile disappearing. "Do not suppose that I do not love my wife. Nothing could be further from the truth."

Well EXCUSE me. I thought. Sorry you going off about how you HAD BEEN in love threw me for a loop. I really wanted to melt right there on stone path like the Wicked Witch of the West after a bucket of water. Then I wouldn't have to feel this uncomfortable.

"You look very uncomfortable," he said.

Thanks, King Collin. I thought. Thanks for pointing that out. Of course I was uncomfortable, and of course he knew I was uncomfortable, but him saying it out loud just someone made it all feel so much worse! "Well..." I started awkwardly. "This isn't exactly a comfortable conversation, is it? You start off by telling me that you don't approve of my relationship with your son, and now you seem upset with me for thinking that you don't love your wife. I had never thought you didn't love her before this conversation, but you started off by saying that feelings of love don't last forever, so it made me think differently than I had, which is funny because I actually always thought you and the Queen seemed like a loving couple. I could always tell you loved her in the way you looked at her and spoke to her. I've even thought about how I want a relationship like that one day."

The King didn't answer.

"I mean, ever since coming here, I've had to converse with a lot of people who don't really like me, or who look down on me because I am a commoner or whatever, but it doesn't mean I like those conversations. It doesn't mean it feels good or that I'm going to thank you for reminding me of my lowly peasant station."

"You were born in a different country, Miss Carmichael. You were not born into nobility. There is no shame in that. However, you are courting the crown prince, and you are not very familiar with royal customs. The role you would have to fulfil, should you wed, would be particularly difficult for you as you have not grown up with the proper education and training. Likewise, I fear you do not understand the behavior of many kings. Some may choose to conceal this from you, but I will not. Most princes and kings are unfaithful to their wives. It is the simple fact of the matter. My father was unfaithful, Klara's father was unfaithful—which prompted the divorce of her parents. King Diego, who you have met, is certainly unfaithful. He has two known mistresses."

I pursed my lips. I figured as much for King Diego, but I hadn't realized that both of Coleman's grandfathers have been unfaithful as well. King Dieter had been so nice when I'd visited Durmanheim—I wouldn't have expected that from him.

I studied the King's stoic profile, wondering if he'd followed in his father's footsteps despite the love he'd proclaimed for Queen Klara.

He glanced down at me again. "I know what you are wondering. Have I been unfaithful?"

Shoot, I thought. Am I that easy to read?

"I have not been," he answered. "I have always been loyal to my wife. But throughout the entirety of our marriage, I have had women approach me with the intention to seduce me. Some are more subtle, some are overt. As King, I've received a lot of unwanted attention. As the years have gone by, such requests have become less frequent, but they come all the same."

I studied the King. Sure, he was certainly older than Coleman, but he was still undoubtedly good-looking. It wasn't hard to imagine that someone with his looks and his power would receive such female attention. It wasn't hard to imagine that Coleman would receive the same.

"The question we must ask, Miss Carmichael, is if Coleman will have the self-control to always say no. Will Coleman choose to be faithful, to put you first, even when the initial flame of love has cooled down?"

I didn't answer.

"If Coleman had married someone like Lady Madeline, for example, she is very aware of how things work. I'm sure it would be upsetting to her if Coleman were unfaithful, but it's what she would expect to a degree. She still has an entire social network to rely on, she still has powers and duties that she wouldn't have otherwise to fulfil. She still gets the political benefits of her marriage."

The King stopped and turned to face me.

"I fear for you, Miss Carmichael," he said, his voice a little softer, his face quite genuine. "I do not think you will want to walk this path of royalty alone. It is a heavy burden, and if you are marrying for love, what shall you do if love abandons you?"

His eyes looked quite sincere, and I was completely taken aback when I realized that tears were filling my own. I quickly wiped them away, though of course he'd seen.

"I don't know," I admitted. "I don't know what I'd do." Suddenly, I felt like I was back in Nikoto once more, at a table of nobility who clearly didn't care for me and who spoke in a way that I could not understand. How would I have felt if Nikolas hadn't been there? How would I feel as an abandoned Princess of Aregano, forced to face the pressure of all eyes on me alone?

"Thank you, King Collin," I said, and I could see a little surprise in his features. "I think I'll talk with Coleman about what you've said. I'd like to hear his thoughts on it all."

The King nodded. "As you should."