In love with my bestfriend(s)

041

* 1 week later*
Tw od

Teams pov:

Penelope rushed to the bullpen where the team was gathered.
"I got a hit on y/n's car" Penelope said to the team.

Everyone was eager to go to the location but hotch stopped them.

"Stop. We don't know in what state we are going to find y/n. Everyone should be prepared and take a medical kit with them" hotch said.

The team looked worried.
Only rossi, Spencer and Alex have experience with y/n's drug use. Alex has never seen them in a bad state but y/n told them everything.

The whole team moved out. Penelope joined aswell.
They finally arrived and found y/n's car.
"Looks like theyve been living in it" jj said.
"Just like when they first started using" Rossi said to the team.

They were out in a know drug neighbourhood.
"We should split up. Morgan your with Blake. Jj Spencer your together. Penelope your with me. Rossi you can handle yourself?" Hotch asked. Everyone nodded.

The all walked around the block. There where alor of tents set up where some homeless people slept. Every junkie they found, made their heart drop.

"Blake" Derek said as he pointed to a allie way.
They both walk over their. Hyperviglent.
"It's a know drug spot" Morgan said.

"Y/n?!" They yelled as they walked through the allie.
"Morgan!" Alex yelled as they ran.
The legs sticked out behind rhe dumpster.

The ran and saw y/n unconscious.
"No!" Alex started to give cpr.
"They od"
Morgan called an ambulance.
" i need Naloxone"  Alex said.
Morgan opend the medical kit. And room out the naloxone. He pushed it into y/n's nose.  Alex resumed the cpr.
The team arrives.

They all stand in theirs looking over y/n's body. Pale. Dark circles under their eyes. Like theyve been sick.

Spencer couldn't bair to look. He turned around and hid his face into jj chest. Penelope held on to hotch. Letting her tears fall.

They stood their for 3 minutes when rhe naloxone finally started working and y/n woke up. Being able to breath on their own.

Rossi pushed everyone aside as he only just arrived. Holding y/n in his arms.
But y/n crawled out of them.

Y/n's pov:

The whole team is staring at me.
I hear the ambulance in the distance.
"You called the ambulance?!" I stand up angry. My vision goes blurry for  a second making me fall. But derek cathed me.

"Y/n you just od! You could have died" Blake yelled at me.
"Don't you think I know that!!" I yelled back.
"That was kind off the whole point of me running off!" The team looked shocked. I just admitted that I'm suicidal.
I couldn't stand on my feet. I wanted to run but I couldn't. And honestly I was tired of running. I've been doing that for most my life.

"Stop i-" I tried to say as paramedics walk over. But then my nose started running. Blood. I held myself up using the wall.
"Y/n your nose" jj said. I just whipe my nose using my hand.
"Happens alot" but something doesn't feel right. My head hurts and Mt sight goes black again.

The team's pov:

Y/n falls back their eyes roll into their head uncontrollably. As their body shakes.
"Omg!" Penelope yells and turn away into hotch's chest.
Foam starts coming out of y/n's mouth
"They are having a seizure we need to get to the hospital now!" The paramedics yell.

Spencer found it hard to watch but he couldn't leave y/n all. Y/n didn't leave emily so he won't leave them.
He stepped into the ambulance as y/n's body still shook uncontrollably. They pushed something unto their system.
"This will stop if for a few minutes but it's possible she will starts sezing again" the paramedics said.
"They/them" Spencer corrected them.
"You know what they took?" The paramedics asked.
"Cocaine is their usual" he answered.

*next day*

Y/n's pov:

I opend my eyes as I remember what happend. I overdosed?

A nurse walks in.
"Excuse me what  happend?" I ask.
"You overdosed, your friends for you back but then you started seizing. Probably bc of  a bad batch and the amount you took" he answered.
I remember I just wanted to get it over with.

"Can i say something?" He asked.
I nodd "I guess so"

"I overheard your friends saying that your girlfriend died." I sigh as he said that. I don't want to remember it. I don't want to see the image of emily with all that blood.
"I had a friend who went through the same. His girlfriend died and he fell of the wagon. He told me this: when you get clean, you will miss the drugs but you will miss her more"

"How is that supposed to help me? I use so I don't have to miss her." I say back.
"If she were here now. What would you choose. Her or drugs?" He asked.
"That's Frank. But yea I would choose her."

"Then even in death you should choose her." He walked out.
I feel guilty now. I can't go on like this.

Something feels different now. I almost died, and eventho I wanted to. It just feels different.
I sat there for minutes thinking about what I put the team through.  How they saw me.

After a while i saw them in the distance. Slowly walking to my room.
Alex was first to walk in.
"I'm glad your okay" just hearing her voice seeing the fear. It made me cry.

"I am so sorry! I'm sorry I need help. I -" Alex imbraced me with a hug. The rest of the team walks in.

"We are here to help" hotch said.
"Ii- I can't do this alone- I need help- real help. But i-i. I spent all my money on the drugs. I- I don't have anything. I'm going to need to sell my house-" I say as I continued to cry historically.

"I'm so sorry you had to see me like this" I continued to cry in Alex's arms.
"My turn" Spencer whispered to Alex.
He imbraced me with his gentle hug. I could tell that he cried.

"We will take care of that. I can pay for whatever you need" Rossi said.
"I'll talk to your house lord, get him to go soft on your rent" says penelope.
I slowly let go of Spencer and take his hand.

"I am so sorry for what I did to you guys" I feel so quilty seeing all their faces.
"As long as you will try to stay clean. It's all good" Derek said.

I look down at my hands.
"It's not all good. But I promise. I'm going to rehab and I'll do everything to get your trust back and to make amends"

"I'll ask noah for a good rehab" Spencer said.