Bad Timing | Satoru Gojo | Toji Fushiguro | Jujutsu Kaisen

Chapter 35

For the first time in a while, I didn't wake up feeling lost or foggy. I woke up fully aware of where I was, who was with me, what happened and most importantly, what I've done...

As I laid over my bed in my bedroom, not daring to move my injured body an inch because I was too afraid of finding out if I was being strapped to the bed again or not. I felt every cell in my body was frozen stiffly still, even my eyes, they didn't blink once since I woke up and locked them with his.

Those hard, deep green eyes that kept staring at me. The ones, that only seconds ago, I was standing looking into ones just like them. I gulped down, my throat felt too dry. Same as my heart.

"You're alive." Megumi had finally spoken, his cold eyes still staring at me. "Barely."

That's when I nodded slowly and finally moved. Closing my eyes and letting my head swim deeper into the fresh, shameful memories of what I've done to him, to Satoru, to everyone else.

Few seconds, maybe few minutes passed with none of us talking. I wasn't sure if I even had a voice left in me, depending on how my throat was hurting. Megumi stayed quiet, too. His slow breathing was interrupted by deep sighs every now and then. Telling me that he had, in fact, so much to say. Except he didn't seem to figure out how to say it yet.

A while later, I finally managed to pull myself up slowly. Thanking God that I still had my freedom, yet too concerned about why I actually still have it. And why I was not being strapped down or basically thrown into a cell after everything I had done to this school!!

Megumi seemed like he read my thoughts from the way I kept looking at myself. "I promised them you wouldn't do anything." His eyes lingered into mine. "So don't do anything, please." Then he looked away.

I slowly shook my head then nodded, still unable to speak. My eyelids felt too heavy to keep them open and I could feel myself wanting to close them and go back to sleep. My head and body were giving up but fighting at the same time. Because I wanted to stay focused, to stay up, and talk to Meguni. To talk to him, Satoru.

"S-Satoru..."

"He's not here." Megumi uncrossed his arms from against his chest and leaned over his knees, his eyes moving from mine to the floor. And that told me one thing, and one thing only. He's about to say something hurtful.

"He doesn't want to see you again."

I tilted my head down and closed my eyes shut, squeezing them so hard as if that would help me disappear, or go back in time to undo what I've done.

"And I don't blame him. I wouldn't wanna see you either, Ania. But I'm here because I really feel sorry for you..."

A hot, stinging tear formed in the corner of my eye and slowly slipped and trickled over my cheek. I sniffled and heard him sighing, then opened my eyes to see him still looking at the floor.

"You know, when I first saw you on your first day here, I felt like I recognized you from somewhere. I've never met you before, I was fully aware of that. But yet, there was something so familiar about you. So close, I couldn't put my finger on it back then. But now I could, now I see it clearly."

I was wiping my tears, still looking at him and still listening. Megumi nodded then looked up at me.

"You're fucking damaged." He breathed out a fake, dry laugh. "You're tainted by him, that's what it was. That's what I recognized in you, the damage he had done to you. And I sensed it because I was also fucking damaged by him."

I shook my head. "What?" My voice came out hoarse and raspy and my throat burned. "N-No." I kept shaking my head.

"I didn't ask about him then, didn't need to." He frowned then shrugged. "I guess I didn't want to be affiliated with him by any kind of connection. Even if they were nothing but mere stories about him. What I carried on me was enough. That deep, unwashable stain he put over me. I couldn't even bare to carry his fucking name, but I had to because I also hated the fucking Zenins." He stood up furiously and walked towards the window, his hands fisted hard on each side.