One Last Smile

Entry #14

Entry #14

November 19, 2022

Kyan and I—I think—are a thing since last Monday, the fifteenth of November, though he made it clear to me that he's already courting me and that he wants to properly meet my family.

Our chats became lengthy, filled with updates on our day-to-day life. We've played 21 questions game where we tricked each other with questions by playing subway surf and temple run. I tried to keep my family's information from Kyan but it seemed that he was interested to know about them because ten questions out of twenty-one were about my family.

During our game, I knew of his small details such as his hatred towards almonds and almond ice cream because he felt like he's eating stones whenever he munches down a piece, his favorite sport was actually badminton and not volleyball, or his cravings of consistent affirmations because his favorite love language matches with his fragile heart. Those little yet essential details matter to me as equally as it matters to him. They made me want to love him more.

I learned about his family and how he found himself. Kyan is the eldest and the only male out of the three children his parents had. He mentioned that his father was gay, and by was, meaning he was feminine and did prefer men than women but with a man's heart. His father, he believed, thought of being a transgender though that thought never crossed the line to be applied in reality. Kyan said that his father changed when he met his mother.

Kyan was exactly like his brother, an exact carbon copy. His father's gene and personality—which could not possibly nature—was passed down to him. His father was an honorable man. And when I heard his father's story, I thoughts about the mom's friend who had the similar backstory. I thought they were quite alike.

Other than his family, I also learned about him, the things he loved. From the color navy blue, black leather shoes, grey slacks, down to Jollibee over McDonald's, chicken wings over chicken thighs, or even me, the one he lov—okay that's enough.

I do wish that we both learn to love each other as I write down this diary. It's a sweet thought, isn't it? One that may last...or may wither.

Had I known that this day was a total disaster, I would've lied to my brother and pretend that I was with Kyan the whole time.

When will I have a peaceful life? Away from all this drama and family feud.

_______

"Kuya, the thing is...naiwan ko yung umbrella ko, okay? Michelle's mom's coming naman to pick her up. Baka pwedeng sasabay nalang ako? If you're worried that Kyan would snatch me away, don't even think about that. He's a good guy." I heard the faint scoff coming from him and it made me roll my eyes.

The past week, he has been doubting Kyan. First, he was showing his support—or did I simply misinterpret his own remarks about my personal relation with Kyan? Now, he's at it, barking at Kyan to warn him off.

"I'm only checking up on you, Gaelle. I still think no one's good for you," and with that, he ended the call. Hindi ko alam kung pinapayagan niya ba akong sumama kay Michelle o hindi pero ang alam ko ay sasama talaga ako aa kaibigan ko. Kyan had actually left an hour ago together with Vaughn. Pupunta kasi sila sa college department to run through their plans for the upcoming intramurals which would take place for about two weeks from now.