One Last Smile

Entry #7

Entry #7

October 18, 2022

I had fun today. My morning was not bad because I excelled in Pre-Calculus and got the perfect score for our exam. Most of my examination scores were above the passing rate so I definitely had nothing else to worry about today. Next, during our snack time, I bumped into Kyan. He notified me about the upcoming intramural tryouts. He said something about another meeting but I didn't really understand it because I was busy staring at his face.

I was lucky enough to be saved by Michelle once again. Siguro kung wala siya, Kyan would think that I was a creep. He was such a ray of sunshine. He kept on melting my heart. Parang gusto ko nalang siyang ibulsa at dalhin kung saan man ako magpunta. I had a feeling of wanting him by my side so I wouldn't be sad at all. He felt like that exactly.

Kuya Dj fetched me during the afternoon, after my dismissal. Michelle...well...she went berserk when she saw my brother. Tili siya nang tili hanggang sa umalis kami. She tried to get his attention talaga, and all I got from watching her was second-hand embarrassment. I could only repeatedly sigh. She might have a chance if hindi siya ganun ka obvious. Pero, isn't it weird for an eleventh-grader to date a second-year college student?

Nag send pa siya ng picture para ipakita ko raw kay kuya...to show off her beauty. Maganda naman si Michelle. Her brain would mostly be like kuya's type, pero her fashion style and whole personality, I don't think so. From what I heard from his own best friend, he likes those classic girlies wearing dresses and sandals all the time, highly modest. Judging from his own modesty, I could say his type is his own self.

We celebrated Mom's birthday today. We went to Shangri-La, Mactan because we wanted to treat her to a relaxing place. I tried to actually convince them both to travel to Oslob for a night-out slash birthday party, pero kuya instantly disagreed. Mahal na raw ang gasoline kaya bawal daw. 

My heart was filled with delight when I saw my mom cry in front of us. She was happy, and that's all I needed to know to be happy too. We three were contented with what we have, because we have each other.

She's my home, my comforter.

_______

"Hindi kaya. I don't like anyone as of now, ma. Don't believe kuya," I purposely stomped on his feet under the table. He told Mom that I liked someone. "I said the truth, ma. Your little girl is not so little anymore. She needs to be homeschooled na."

I glared at him before I stomped on his feet again, earning a hard glare back. "Ow!"

Mom laughed at us before eventually stopping us from bickering. "Tell me about this guy, nak. Is he gwapo? Matalino ba? Ano...tell me..." I mentally cried out. I swear I looked like a red tomato right now. Humanda ka talaga sa hinagpis ko, Dylan Jaani.

"Ma naman eh...si kuya nga, nangaakit ng senior high, ew. Pedo...pedo..." he gasped dramatically before he stood up to flick my forehead. "Ow! Pisti man diay ka ya oi!" Pagmumura ko sa kaniya. He glared at me and gave me a scoff. 

"That's not true. It's her fault for liking me. Besides, I don't like her—"

"You heard that, ma? That's why your eldest is still single because he's too choosy." Inismiran ko siya. She laughed at my statement while he had that frustrated look. "That's so true, anak. I once recommended someone pero your kuya declined. Para ba namang tanga—"

"Maaaaa..." he whined. "You're my mom. You're supposed to defend me. Don't side with Gaelle." I rolled my eyes at him and he did so too. "What? Can't I say something? Pagbigyan mo na si mama. I'm saying the truth naman, hindi ba?" She playfully wiggled her brows at him which we all found funny.

It felt so good. It felt so heartwarming to be able to see your mother having fun with her children. I could perfectly picture out our moments tonight, just the three of us laughing at and with each other. I wished I could freeze these moments and store them forever.

Ngayon ko lang narealize that my mother was so outgoing. Sa kaniya ko talaga namana ang pagkatalkative at outgoing personality ko. My mother looked worn out every time she comes home and sometimes, I could vaguely see the faint wrinkles on her forehead, a prominent sign that she was exhausted.

My mother was, and still is, beautiful. Although I don't see myself pretty like her and kuya, but I guess her genes run so strong. She's always classy and elegant when working. She rarely hangs out with her friends because she's too occupied with her responsibilities as our mother and father. I suddenly felt guilty for gatekeeping happiness from my own mother. Nasasayahan akong gumala mag-isa o kasama si Michelle, yet I never once thought of my mother, kung nasisiyahan ba siyang araw-araw magtrabaho o nasisiyahan ba siyang pasanin ang lahat ng problema sa mundo.

Mothers are the strongest people in the whole world. They are the masters of sacrifices. They also gamble in life kasi gagawin nila ang lahat para sa kanilang mga anak even if it means giving up on their own lives too...even if it means not chasing their dreams for the sake of their children's happiness. Why are children selfish? And why haven't I thought about this? I barely saw her pain.

"What's wrong anak?" She suddenly called me out, bringing me back to my reality. A smile was then plastered on my lips. I don't know if it was a compassionate, encouraging, or a reassuring smile that could tell her that I'm grateful for everything she did for my life and that I also got her back from now on. "You're so pretty, mama. Happy birthday, once again." With that, I gave her a kiss that sealed my very own promise to myself.

_______

Hi:)