Wish Upon A Star

40

"I'm sorry, Mom. It wasn't my intention. I just want to breathe for a while."

"Just this time".

I averted my eyes from my mother to avoid her gaze then ended up staring at the ceiling. Just a few moments later, I heard her footsteps approaching me. A soft and warm touch wrapped around my hand.

"I know you're tired of being confined  in here but at least try to loosen up."

Silence fell between us and then my mother spoke again. .

"Promise me not to hide when you're in pain. Don't cry alone. I'm always here for you, my princess because I'm your mother".

As soon as I heard that, I break down. I don't know but I suddenly burst into silent tears when I felt her grip tighten on me and she gently caressing it.

"Crying is a way to cleanse your heart. It's alright to cry sometimes. You don't have to pretend to be okay. It's alright....."

I turned my head and looked my mom in the eye then I asked her about what was inside my mind.

"Did I make the right decision, Mom?". I straightforwardly asked, not minding the tears that keeps messing up with my face.

She cupped both my cheeks and slowly wiped away the tears that keeps betraying me. It was the first time my mother saw me crying.

"Is it about Sana and your friends?", she asked me and I just simply nodded at her.

I left them without even saying goodbye. I know the hospital will not leak any information about their patients and their records because it was prohibited. But, I still talked to Hyung Daniel and Irene Unnie not to inform Sana and my friends of my whereabouts. I just want to make sure of it. In case, they asked questions about me. I even changed my phone number and deactivated all my accounts so they can't reach me.

In short, I cut ties with them.

They don't know whether I'm still alive or not.
How cruel I was?

"I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. Why we can stop making decisions we regret?", I sobbed.

We've all done things that weigh us down and make us wonder, "Why do I seem to do what I know is wrong?".

"Sometimes, we make decisions not only for ourselves. We think more about the situation of others compared to us and that's what we called sacrifice..."

"You're brave and strong, my daughter. I'm so proud of you. I will always be proud of you."

"Mom, I want them to forget me. To forget all about me."

"You can control them but you can't dictate what is good for them." My mother wrapped her arms around my body and help me sit on the bed.

"Let's go?", she said.

"Where are we going?", I asked.

"I thought you want to go outside your room." My mother softly smiled at me and support me to stand. She then get my wheelchair and made me sit there.

"Thank you, Mom".

"Just only a few minutes. If you don't want your Uncle and your father to scold us later".

We both laughed at what she said and then we went out of the room.

---

"You stayed here. I'm going to get you some milk. What do you prefer? Hot or cold?", my mother asked.