My Allegiant Life-- A Divergent Fanfiction

Chapter 3 Stella

Instead of blood running through my veins, there is stress, and worry.

Lamar doesn't seem to remember that I'm "second in charge" according to his conversation with Faith. He told me that he's just used to making decisions on his own, but I remember when he used to turn to me to help him with a decision.

We are running again, I am running on adrenaline and energy from sleeping, because I refuse to eat. I'm just not hungry, as I told him, but he seems to think it isn't just that. Whatever it is that's stripping me of my appetite, it is likely all the stress, and how thinking is like a drug for me, it leads me no where good, but I can't quit.

The gates have been in view for a while, just a little smudge of color at first, soon widening and growing taller as we grow closer. We seem to be within 5 miles of it, but who knows, maybe my judgement of distance is just as inaccurate as estimation of time through the sun.

Faith and Adrian run in the back of the group, just as Lamar had ordered them. Our layout is like this; Lamar and I in the front, Grace between us and Alice and Anthony, and Faith and Adrian in the back.

It is hard to imagine how I am keeping up with Lamar, he might be taking it easy so he doesn't lose sight of me, although, that has to be exhausting judging how long his legs are compared to mine.

"Stop," he orders, this is how he stops us when it's time to take a break. "We'll rest now until the sun is just above the tree line," he says as everyone slows to a stop. "By then, we'll all have enough energy to just sprint there, hopefully."

"Sounds good," Faith and Adrian say.

Alice hesitates. "Are we sure that's a good idea?" She asks. "Just sprinting the rest of the way there? Shouldn't we conserve our energy for when we're there?"

Lamar shakes his head. "I'd prefer we get there today, and while it's dark so they don't see us coming."

"If it's dark, we wont be able to see them either," Anthony says. "We'll be just as vulnerable to an attack."

"And who is seeing us anyway?" I ask. "We're going to the fence. We're not going past that, not right now. We can sleep under a few trees, like last night. If we get there at dusk, we'll have a better chance of fighting off an attack."

Everyone stares at me.

"That's actually not a bad idea," Adrian says. "After a good night sleep and a little more food, we'd have a better chance of getting through an attack. If we go now, and there are people there, all that'll matter is if they see us, because that will decide if we live or if we die."

A discussion has begun, everyone is in an argument except Lamar and I, he starts towards me, wrapping his hand around my elbow. "I was never giving your position away," he says. "Because I know you can come up with good ideas like this."

"Thank you," I say. "But what if it doesn't work?"

"There's only one way to find out," he says. He releases my arm only to snake his around my waist, holding me close. He moves his mouth to my ear. "You ready for them to stop?" He whispers. I nod. He turns back to them. "Hey!" He yells, his voice abruptly stopping all conversations. "Everybody sit down, get your rest, we'll be leaving as soon as the sun hits the tree line." They obey, as if they were pets. He leads me to a tree, away from everyone else, turns me so I face him. "What did you think about while we were running?" He asks quietly.

I shake my head. "Nothing new," I say.

His eyebrows lower. "Are you sure?" He asks.

"Yes," I say. "I'm not . . . Lying to you, okay?"