LOVE BY ARCHITECTURE

CHAPTER -2 'Memory Creates Hallucination '

EVAN

Success was never a problem for me, neither is it now. Since I never let it get to my head. I have learnt the hard way that success is not permanent, it's a continuous process where you have to work and work, do it over and over again. And I always believe that success is not built on success, it's built on failure, frustration, sacrifice and sometimes catastrophe.

People who know me will describe me as an overachiever. I take it as a compliment, because to be an overachiever you first need to be an over believer. And undoubtedly, I'm a believer. That's what makes me who I am today.
But today, standing in the spotlight doesn't feel right. I never feared criticism. I think that being criticised means I'm doing something that makes a difference. I rely more on criticism rather than praise, because I would love to be saved by criticism rather than be ruined by praise.
Then why am I so much affected by what that girl said? She doesn't even know me, or my name. Who is she to judge me? Her opinion shouldn't bother me.Then why are her words echoing in my ears? It's your male ego, your sense of superiority that is bruised by her words.
She's gone a moment ago, but the vibration from the slammed door is resonating in the auditorium. If the door wasn't shut with a bang I would have thought that I was hallucinating. But, unfortunately, it's not my sleep-deprived mind's illusion, it's reality. And I'm fully awake.

It took me a while to snap out from what happened, and fixate my attention on what's in front of me. Dean Elton, approach towards me hurriedly.

" We are extremely apologetic for this inconvenience, Mr Anderson. If you don't want to continue this seminar, we understand."
He's a man in his sixties, stern yet genial. He was one of the professors in my department. So I know him, and vice -versa. But hearing Mr. Anderson from him is a little bit weird.

" Prof. I'll be delighted if you call me Evan."I'm Mr. Anderson in my professional life, but for them I'm just Evan.

" Son, don't worry we will find who that girl was. And proper action will be taken." He pause searching for my face, but I don't let him see through.

" You don't have to continue, if you are not okay with it, just say the word and I'll do it."
That's why I respect him so much, he understands every situation and supports his students, even his ex- student.

" It's totally fine. I think I will continue. Thanks Prof. And I have a request:" I don't have to do this, but it's not right to ruin someone's dream. I know how it feels when dreams are broken. So I say

" Don't take any action against her. She wasn't wrong in her place. And she made it very clear that her intentions were not to humiliate anyone, she was just stating her point of view." I want to find her and confront her, but I will do it my way.

" But it was very disrespectful what she did. You still wish not to take any action." There's nothing to consider about it because I know what I'm doing.

" Absolutely, I don't want to do anything."

He didn't say anything immediately, but he just pat my shoulder and walk away.
After that, everything passed in a blur; the orientation, the speeches of other faculty members, the questions asked by the students, the answers. I don't even remember what my answers were, leave the questions. All the decorum, everything now feels like a hazy memory.

Now, when I am in my car, away from all those eyes, the limelight. It feels good. I sit in the silence of the car, taking some deep calming breaths. With every breath, the tension in my mind relaxes a little bit. Not enough to completely erase what happened. So I turn on the ignition and start driving, maybe it will allow me to think clearly. But my mind is still reeling from the incident in a continuous loop. Each and every word of her ringing in my ear like a monotonous cacophony. How dare she call me Mr. Arrogant Quote thief Architect, leave the part guest lecturer.