A Vow of Silence

Chapter 32.

Nicole

I pulled into TM after receiving a text from Abel's teacher that Gemma had stopped by. She was doing exactly what I thought she would do, and now I just had to wait for confirmation of her next move.

Jax didn't come home last night, which made me think that he'd most likely found her, and I was too late. I called him three times last night, and every call went straight to voicemail. He was hiding from me, trying to push me away for my own good. But I knew that I couldn't take the bait.

"Hey Nicole," Chucky said when he spotted me. Unser was there too and he gestured for me to come talk to him. The look on his face told me that it was important, and I reluctantly agreed to speak to him.

"I see you dropped the charges," I said offering him a small smile in reference to his APB on Jax.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," he said solemnly. He was quiet for a moment, and the silence between us became heavy with his grief. "How long did you know?"

I sighed, "Since the first day they handed me her case. It was all there, but you know how it would go if I just came out accusing. Besides, I didn't even think Juice was there that night. I don't even know him, but it sure pieces everything together now, though."

"Yeah," Unser inhaled a sharp breath and leaned up against the wall. His gaze looked far off like he was thinking of something. "I was supposed to protect her y'know. Get her and her boys out of here safely. I thought I was doing the right thing."

I nodded my head but didn't say anything to console him. I'm sure that his loyalty to Gemma may have wronged Tara somehow, but that was neither here nor there. Unser was dying and losing his family would most likely expedite that process. It didn't seem fitting of me to pry into a man that was already torturing himself.

"There's no way around it, is there?" Unser sighed and his shoulders sunk down. He said nothing further as he disappeared into Gemma's office.

It was a sad sight to see a man so broken, but I had no time to ponder it when Nero's car came to a screeching halt into TM. He seemed like he was in a panic as he frantically got out of the car and began yelling.

"I need a favor!" he said looking at me behind his sunglasses.

"What's up?" I asked, trying to remain calm.

"I need to tell you something first about Tara's murder," he paced back and forth in front of me. I already knew what he was going to say, but I needed to hear his request as well. "It wasn't the Chinese, it was Gemma." I slowly nodded my head, unsurprised and he stared at me in shock. "You knew the whole time? What are you still doing here?! Why aren't you out finding her?!"

"I'm working on finding her Nero, I just don't know where she's at right now."

"Gemma's gone to Oregon to see her dad. Jax knows where she's at."

I perked up at the sound of Jax's name. If he knew where she was, it was only a matter of time before he showed up. I needed to move fast if I wanted to find her first.

"Nicky, I can't get in between that. You have to go up there and do something!"

"I know! Just give me a minute to think." I hadn't meant to snap at him, but I'd been contemplating all morning how to go about this. This family was unpredictable and I needed more than one solution to cover every possible scenario.

"I'll give you anything you need; just promise me you'll go up there. Please, Nicky, I'm begging you! Please!"

"Alright!" I yelled letting out a shaky breath. "Do you know anyone by the name of Carmen? Carmen Gotti."

Nero looked confused for a minute at my question as he searched his mind. "She just got out six months ago, why?"

"Do you have any way of contacting her?"

"Probably through one of my boys, but why does this matter? Why are you looking for Carmen?"

"She owes me a favor. Call her up and tell her that Nicky wants to go see Zuri's recital."

Nero looked taken aback, "do I want to even know what that means?"

"No, just set it up and text me the address to Gemma's father's house." He nodded his head as I made my way back over to my car. I had a lot on my plate, but time wasn't on my side.

My first stop had to be with Carmen though. She was a woman I met while I was inside. She was there on drug charges and had turned into the supplier when I was in prison. We got into a fight my first night there, a price all offenses against children deserved.

However, towards the end of my stay, after all the evidence was out. She could see the hurt, anger, and pain in my eyes. It was our first cordial conversation, and all we talked about were our kids.

Her daughter, Zuri, had passed away a few years ago. She was only six years old at the time of her passing and Carmen blamed herself for her daughter's death. Zuri was obsessed with ballet, but even more obsessed with dancing for her mom. She'd run and squeeze herself into her tutu and leotards just to put on a show for her mom.

Well, one day, Carmen was trying to run errands around the house. Zuri, like always wanted to dance for her mom, she thought it'd cheer her up. So, she put on her leotards and her tutu and threw her hair up in a frizzy ponytail at the top of her head.

She then proceeded to dance for her mom; Carmen wasn't paying any attention though. And Zuri got too close to the road. The man who hit her was speeding in a residential area and didn't have enough time to stop. Carmen never forgave herself, and she said that all she wanted was to see her little girl dance again.

It was an expected request from a grieving parent. But Carmen's urge to see Zuri was very literal, and she offered me a solution through this simple phrase. I want to see Zuri's recital. It meant everything to me at that time, because I didn't want to be in a world without my girls.

I always thought it'd be me saying the phrase, and that I'd go peacefully following the laughter of my kids. But that's the twisted thing about life, things don't always go as planned.