A Vow of Silence

Chapter 9.

Nicole

Today was supposed to be my first day with Jax's sons. So, as a professional, I was at his house on time. I wanted to take this position seriously, and he was doing me a huge favor by giving me the job. So, I wanted to show him that I not only appreciated him but respected him as my employer.

However, when I got there, Jax left out a very important detail. His mother had already assembled her line of workers to look after the boys, and she wasn't looking towards hiring an extra. Gemma didn't even know that Jax was looking for a replacement until I showed up.

"Jax, I have this under control. How many people do you need looking after them?" she huffed, "I mean Wendy and I are already alternating, and then we have Brooke!" Gemma continued to rant on and on about how including another person wouldn't be feasible, especially for a person who expected a paycheck.

"Mom, Nicole is just doing a trial run to see how things go. I don't want my boys being passed around from person to person, it isn't healthy for them. I want someone there at all times, whose sole responsibility is to take care of them. They need routine and consistency."

Gemma looked like she was gearing up to say more, but Jax continued saying, "look, I appreciate everything you guys have been doing, I'm not trying to undermine your help. But this can't go on like this forever. Brooke is only here to pay off a debt, Wendy will need to go back to work soon, and I don't need you running yourself ragged trying to be a full-time grandma. This will be good for everyone."

"Jax, I am fine being a full-time grandma. I love having a full house, and I love being around my boys."

Jax looked at his mother sympathetically, "I'm not cutting your time with them, mom. You will still be able to see them when you want, this just gives a little more time back to you. Abel has been through so much, I don't want his life to be constantly shifting. He needs consistency."

I could tell that by the look on Gemma's face that this wouldn't be the end of this argument. She had sunken her claws deep into her grandkids, almost in an unhealthy way. She wasn't going to make this easy on me. Wendy, on the other hand, seemed almost frightened by my presence. I didn't know her relationship with the boys, but she definitely had to have some attachment to them to be so threatened.

I wanted both women to know and understand that I had no intention of replacing them. This is the first time that I'd seen a family act so hostile to the idea of a nanny. I lived in a nice area when I was in San Diego, I had seen quite a few friends hire nannies and maids. Everyone was aware that the nanny worked for the family. They weren't there to replace anyone.

So, all morning I did my best to tread lightly as the women showed me the boys' routine. Wendy and Brooke did their best to push past their feelings and showed me the ropes. Gemma refrained altogether and decided to just watch as I learned everything.

My main job was Abel and Thomas, but that didn't exclude Jax and the house. So, I had to learn things the Gemma way, which was interesting, to say the least. Gemma Teller had a very black-and-white way of doing things. From the cleaning products, and meals, down to which cabinets to place the dishes in. It was extremely overbearing and a part of me wondered how Jax had let his mother become this intrusive.

In all honesty, I was looking forward to turning down this job as soon as the day ended. But then I met the boys, and there was an undeniable chemistry. Thomas was just as cute as a button, innocent and pure. But when I met Abel, there was something about him that I just couldn't place. I guess it was the look in his eyes when he met me. The expectation and curiosity that loomed behind his baby blues called out to me.

This sweet angel had been through far too much at his young age, and it made me wonder about what my girls would have been like had they lived, would they have had the same look in their eyes? I won't say that Abel needed me exactly, I'm sure any of these ladies would have been fine. But as lovely as they were, they didn't see what he was going through. He was confused and sad and he wanted to express that, but he didn't know how.

Even as he talked to me on his way to preschool I could tell that he wanted to say more. He wanted direct answers, he wanted clarity and security. But then Gemma would say something that may have been to comfort him, but all it did was shut him down. I not only wanted to stay, but something inside of me was urging me to stay as well.

"So, how long is this trial run supposed to be?" Gemma asked me as she lit up a cigarette. I chuckled lightly to myself as my eyes flashed toward the no-smoking sign in the parking lot.

"It's done, I'm staying," I said matter-of-factly.

"That quick? What sealed the deal?"

"Oh, all those years of college, and I finally found out that I wanted to spend the rest of my days washing a long line of plaid shirts and wife beaters."

Gemma cut her eyes at me and scoffed, "funny." She pulled up in front of Jax's house, but when I went to open the door it was still locked. "Look, I don't know why Jax wants to do this whole nanny thing, frankly I think it's because he's trying to honor his late wife. She was always into this fru-fru style of parenting, but you should know that I will do anything to protect my family."

I nodded my head and paid close attention to her choice of words. There was no doubt in my mind that Gemma was quietly threatening me. "Understood," I said as I stared at her in her eyes. She sat back in her seat and gave me a once over, "good. Wendy is inside with Thomas, and she'll go with you to pick Abel up after school."

I nodded my head in understanding as I got out of her car. She didn't drive away until I was at the door, and I knew she didn't do that out of politeness. She was sending a clear message that she'd be watching me.

"Oh, you're back," Wendy said from the kitchen when I closed the door. I walked in to see her feeding Thomas and she looked at me sheepishly, "sorry, I know this is your job now, but he usually eats right about now."

I put my hands up to stop her, "that's completely fine, I don't want to upset their routine."

Wendy nodded her head in agreement as she continued to feed him. "So, how did you and Jax meet?" She seemed nervous asking the question which made me think that she thought I had something going on with Jax.

"Wendy, I'm not seeing Jax like that. He just offered me the job, nothing more, nothing less."

Wendy's cheeks turned bright red, and she let out an embarrassed laugh. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that. I just thought that since he was so adamant about hiring you that there was something more going on." I shook my head which caused her to continue to laugh nervously.

"Are you and Jax..."

"Oh God no," she looked startled by the question, "been there, done that. I mean, we were married a million years ago, but that made hell look like a getaway. Then we had Abel and things just continued to go downhill."

"Oh, so Abel is your son?" I asked in surprise.

"Technically yeah," Wendy looked down at Thomas, "I almost killed him with my addiction. Swore I'd get clean and went to rehab, but with all that back and forth I signed my rights away. Now, he doesn't even know who I really am."

"I'm sorry, it was rude of me to ask."

"No," Wendy waved me off, "it's fine. We all have to pay for something right?" I kept my mouth closed because I didn't want to ask what I was paying for. I mean, what had I done to deserve what happened to my family?

Wendy got up from the breakfast table and walked over to me. She handed Thomas over to me and I accepted him with open arms. It was the first time I got to hold him all morning. However, the look on Wendy's face made it impossible to focus solely on him.

"Wendy, I wasn't hired to replace you. In fact, I'm not here to replace anyone. I'm just simply here to help the boys." Wendy forced a smile but didn't say anything that let me know that she actually understood me. She simply grabbed her bag and then left without another word. I watched her leave in defeat as I bobbed Thomas up and down on my hip. It seems to me that the adults will have more trouble adapting to the changes rather than Abel and Thomas.