A Vow of Silence

Chapter 18.

Nicole

I watched as Jax paced back and forth in front of me. He had taken me and the boys up the cabin for safety since Bobby had been kidnapped. I didn't know all the details, because Jax had been keeping a tight lid on everything. However, even when he wasn't speaking with club members, he was completely silent. Festering in his thoughts about what to do next. I wanted to comfort him, or talk to him in some way, but he had completely iced me out.

The only thing I could do was watch after the boys while he did his work. Gemma and Wendy were at the cabin as well; I witnessed Gemma administering drugs to the woman who was there. Her name was Loutreesha, and she was there with her adult son Grant. I didn't ask questions when I walked in on the scene, but as time went on Gemma pulled me to the side and explained to me what I saw. Loutreesha was trying to get off drugs, so Gemma was there to wean her off of them.

Naturally, I didn't want the boys around any of this. Abel was supposed to be in school, he had no business being cooped up in a cabin with strangers! But it wasn't my place to tell Jax that, it didn't even matter if it was, he was not open to hearing a thing I said. It's like a switch had gone off when he received the phone call from Chibs. The charming and playful Jax Teller was replaced by someone cold and distant.

I did my best to stay out of his way all day, but when he finally managed to speak to me the demand in his voice made me snap. "Pack up, I'm taking you guys to my mother's house. Don't let anyone in the house, and no one gets out."

"Excuse me," I said adjusting Thomas on my hip, "Jax, I have my dad to take care of too. I can't just drop everything and hide out at your mother's house."

"Nicole, I wasn't asking you," he deadpanned.

"Yeah, I noticed that!" I snapped, "figures that the first time you decide to speak to me today, you sound like an a**hole."

Jax scolded me, "I don't need this sh** right now! I hired you to be a babysitter! Your job is to protect my kids, do what I tell you!"

My jaw dropped slightly from the tone of his voice. He had never spoken to me this way, and boss or not, I wouldn't let anyone speak to me this way. I inhaled a sharp breath to suppress the anger that was building inside of me since I was holding Thomas.

Thankfully, Wendy had heard his yelling and came looking for us. I took the opportunity to hand her the toddler and proceeded to shove my way past Jax. I heard him groan loudly behind me, but I didn't care to turn around when I heard him chasing after me.

He whipped me around by my arm and held me still. I could tell that he was still upset, but he was trying his best to remain calm. "Look...I'm sorry for yelling at you." The apology looked like it was causing him physical harm to say, but I appreciated it nonetheless.

"I'm sorry too," I said trying to be fair, "I know you're under a lot of stress." His face softened and he released me while he paced around. "Jax, if there is something happening, you can tell me." I bit my lip before forcing out the next words, knowing that I'd regret them later. "Maybe I can help."

Jax stopped pacing and looked at me for a moment. "You'd do that?" I nodded my head, not trusting my own voice to be sincere. Jax nibbled on his bottom lip as he thought about what I said. No doubt that he was going to put me to the test.

"Come on, I have to show you something," he held out his hand for me, interlocking his with mine when I gave in. For a minute I thought he was suffering from a personality disorder from how quickly he was able to change. But then I figured, that under all that heavy armor and machoism was a lonely man who just wanted help.

He brought me over to the guys and then broke away from me to exchange words with Happy. Happy disappeared into the cabin and then came back shortly with a box. My anxiety must have been toying with my face because Chibs gave me a supportive pat on the back as I sat down.