A Vow of Silence

Chapter 29.

Jax

I sat in the interview room as I waited for Juice to enter. I had just finished talking to Tully about Lin. Apparently, Juice had put him down this morning, and for some reason, that fact bothered me. Did Lin deserve to die? Yes, but for other things. He shouldn't have died as revenge for Tara's death, not with the information I know now.

Before, my sole purpose in bringing down Lin had to do with Tara. I didn't need another reason besides that. Everything I did was because I believed that he killed my wife. But now that I know he didn't, it broke some kind of code for me somehow. It made me question who I was in a life I never had to think twice about.

I always hated Clay for how he went about things. I always thought he was too hasty, too rushed in his decisions. Most of those decisions took lives and ruined homes, he did things that could never be repaired. I thought that with me as president things would be better because I was more rational. But in the end, I found that I was just as hasty, just as rushed as the man I hated most.

The door buzzed and Juice walked in with cuffs on his wrists and a guard behind him. Tully promised me that the room was completely safe and that I didn't need weird code words to mask our conversation. Tully, prior to leaving the room, had asked me a simple question. Was Juice's debt paid after killing Lin? The truth was, I didn't know for sure. Because technically, he had redeemed himself behind bars by doing everything the club asked.

However, if he knew that Gemma had killed Tara all along and let me believe a lie. There was no coming back from that. I was his brother and he kept that from me, it was an unforgivable offense. One that I didn't think I could come back from.

"Did Tully tell you about Lin?" Juice asked immediately after sitting down. The question begged for my approval, and sadly there was no part of me that could give it to him.

"Yeah," I said solemnly.

"Lin told me that are dirty cop wasn't Jurry. It was Barosky, he was greedy. He knew everything about the warehouse and was selling to the highest bidder."

"You believed him?" I asked, still trying to continue with the conversation.

"Yeah, Lin didn't care about protecting the club. And in the end, he never needed Jurry." I nodded my head as I tried to find the right words to say. Juice was fidgeting across from me, a broken smile on his face. "I did everything you asked Jax." I could tell that he was still aching for my forgiveness, but there was one more task I needed him to complete.

"I found out Gemma was helping you hide. The guy that she identified was in Vegas the night of Tara's murder. Why would you go to my mom to hide from the club?" I could hear my voice crack with the rage that was building inside of me, but I felt no urge to correct it. "Did Gemma owe you a favor?"

"We just...kind of found each other." Juice was holding back and I could tell, so I pressed more.

"Yesterday my five-year-old son cut his own arm at school. Deep scratches. And then he told his teacher that it was Gemma who did it to him. I spent the afternoon with child services, so last night I decided to tell him the truth...about Wendy. I let him know that Wendy was his birth mom. I thought it would make things better for him, and easier during his grieving process. But then as I'm tucking him in, he asks me if Gemma killed Tara to make room for Wendy. When I pressed him on why he would ask this, he said that he overheard Gemma apologizing to his little brother for killing his mommy."

"Geez."

"You see, nothing makes sense to me Juice! Is my kid delusional? Cutting himself and making up stories. Or is he tormented? Trying to wrap his little mind around something horrible?" My vision became blurred with tears, "every scenario seems insane to me because he's only five. My son has gone through a lot. And he just lost his mom. Before I send in a team of shrinks to poke and prod at him...I need the truth. Somehow I know you're the one who can give it to me."

"I'm really sorry about Abel."

"Is. It. True?" I pressed, ignoring his condolences.

A tear escaped Juice's eye as he began to speak. "I went to your house that night Tara was murdered. I couldn't wrap my mind around you saying that I betrayed you. But I still went looking for Gemma like you had asked me to. Eli was out front when I arrived; he was waiting on Tara. After a few minutes, we heard a crash and Eli ran inside, I followed him. Tara was dead by the time we got into the house, and Gemma was on the floor freaked out and covered in her blood. Eli was going to call it in, and then I shot him."

I shook with anger as silent tears trickled down my face. My mind went straight to Nicky and the night I asked her what she thought of Tara's murder. She knew what she was saying, she was hinting at it the whole time. She always mentioned that it wasn't Lin's style, that there were two killers. But I never listened to her, I let my rage guide me.

"And then Gemma needed you as much as you needed her," I finished. Juice nodded his head solemnly, looking ashamed by the end of it. "What about the Chinese?"

"We needed to put the kill on someone. The way she killed Tara was too brutal, I thought it fit the bill." I inhaled a sharp breath, feeling the anger at his words creep back up again. Their need to remain blameless destroyed a business relationship and killed the women and men at Cara Cara. No amount of forgiveness could bring those people back.

"Bobby got kidnapped by August." Juice's eyes widened as I read him the repercussions of his actions, "they cut out his eye and his fingers. We barely got him back, had it not been for my ole lady having dirt on August, he would have died. He almost died." Juice trembled at my words and I could see him gearing up to apologize. "Don't say you're sorry! Don't say anything. Thank you for telling me the truth, I'll make sure it's quick."

Juice nodded his head and accepted his fate silently. He didn't need a mayhem vote for this. He earned that a long time ago with Miles, he was on borrowed time and this was the final nail in his coffin.

I got up from the table and went to exit the room. I didn't bother looking at Juice on my way out, because there was nothing left to say to him. This was his execution day, something not even a coward could avoid.

My mind was far away, deep in the betrayal of my mother. The mess she's made would have put any member to death. But for me, she was my mom and somehow under all the betrayal I couldn't see her any different. But I knew what I had to do, and I knew there was no way for me to come back once it's done.