Through The Camera (bxb)

chapter 21

Sitting comfortably in my seat in the middle of the spacious hall, I glanced over to Sarah who sat next to me. My eyes followed as she grabbed a handful of popcorn and brought it to her mouth, eating it hungrily. Her eyes were basically glued to the screen. She was so focused on the movie, she completely forgot to share the food with me. But it was no big deal, I didn't have much of an appetite anyway.

It was hard to concentrate on the film in front of me as my heavy eyelids kept closing. We were barely in the middle of the plot and I had no idea what it was about. I was sure I couldn't stay awake till the end, the dim lighting lulling me to sleep.

The next time I opened my eyes I proved myself right. First, I was disoriented, but then I noticed the credits rolling and people getting up and leaving the theater. Rubbing my eyes, I looked around and spotted Sarah packing her stuff as well. The popcorn was all eaten and the cola was finished too.

I had slept through the entire movie. At least the second half.

Feeling embarrassed, I proceeded to grab my things as well, although there wasn't much, and stood up. My movements made Sarah turn around to face me and I recognized her expression as one of disappointment. Immediately, I felt a sense of guilt. I should have tried harder to stay awake. For her sake.

"Sorry... I was really tired." I apologized awkwardly. "No problem, at least you got some good sleep I hope. You looked like you really needed it." She smiled at me and we made our way out of the cinema. Outside, I suddenly remembered the reason she dragged me out to spend time together.

"You said you had something important to tell me?" I inquired, making her stop walking. "Oh yeah... about that." Her body tensed and I watched confused as she inhaled the cool air.

"I..." she began, "I like you... a lot."

I froze, speechless. "Like a friend, right?" Sarah didn't respond and her gaze fell to the ground, making me sigh. I felt bad for having to reject her, but there was nothing else I could do in this situation.

"Look... I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same. You're a good friend and I don't think I can view you as something more than that." Her eyes looked at me and I saw all her hopes shatter in them. Those sad eyes watched me for a few more seconds and I was sure she was trying her best not to burst into tears right here and now. I thought of ways to comfort her, but the words just wouldn't come out.

"Oh..." she let out, an almost unnoticeable fake smile plastered on her face. The corners of her mouth twitched as she tried to keep it up and seem fine in front of me. But I saw right through her.

"T-That's okay..." Sarah wiped the tears with the back of her hand that were now streaming down her face. "What did I expect..."

"I'm sorry... there's already someone I have feelings for." I contemplated whether or not I should tell her I'm gay too, but decided against it.

Surprised, her eyes shot up to meet mine. "For real?" I shrugged, now a bit uncomfortable with the change of topic. "Yeah."

Sarah stopped crying and took a deep breath to calm herself down. "Sorry for creating such a scene." she breathed, but I assured her it was okay and completely normal. "Well... I'll be going now..." She pointed in the direction of the bus stop and smiled awkwardly. The atmosphere between us was tense and we both didn't know what to say. "Me too... see you on Monday." I waved her goodbye and we parted ways.

Taking a few steps, I stopped in my tracks and thought about how I lost another friend. Now there was no one by my side. No one to talk to. I felt a wave of sadness fall upon me. Now I was all on my own again. However, this was nothing new to me. I'm sure I'll come to terms with it.

I remained still for a while longer before deciding to call an uber because of the cold and freezing weather.

Oliver's POV

I was sitting on a chair at the bar, sipping the alcohol from my glass while being deep in thought. Mia had dragged me out here to drink with her friends, but soon left after telling me something had happened at home. I was left alone with her friends who clung to my side at every chance they got. Once they found out I wasn't interested in them, which took them forever, they finally found another prey to seduce and exited one by one, probably on their way to a hotel.

Now I'm alone and rethinking my life choices.

My mind kept coming back to Max and to the rejection I gave him. I was confused about how I felt towards him so I didn't risk going out with him and then breaking his heart. But the sight of him holding back his tears broke me. I immediately regretted every single thing I had said. But what could I have done? Date him out of pity?

My parents raised me and taught me a lot. From how to start a successful business to how to step on others and use them to get what you want. But the thing they never showed me and never taught me as they called it unimportant and a hindrance was love. They never showed any affection towards me that's why I lived like a puppet for years.

They raised me to be a strong person without weaknesses. And once they found out I was gay my life became pure hell. I had to endure being called a faggot multiple times a day and the beatings from my father only got worse. I used to cry a lot in those times, but one day I pulled myself together and decided to not have them take control of my life. That fateful day I forced myself to stop crying and endure everything they threw at me, thinking about the day I would turn 18 and start my own life as an adult. Without them there to bother me.

Tomorrow is Saturday, that means Max will be streaming again.

I sighed and took another sip, feeling the alcohol go down my throat. I had no courage to join him this time. At the start of the week he was the one avoiding me, but then I became even more confused with my feelings and wasn't brave enough to hang out with him. I thought I needed to spend some time away from him to clear my head. And the only person that clung to me was Mia. So I let her.

It was obvious she was around me because I was well known at my department and everyone liked me. I couldn't not notice the way she rubbed her body against mine, especially her boobs. But I couldn't tell her I swung the other way and wasn't interested in her at all. I wasn't ready to come out yet. And I'm not sure if I ever will be.

Finishing my drink, I placed the empty glass down and paid before leaving the bar. Once outside I called an uber and made my way home. In the car I could feel my eyes getting heavy and forced them to not close. I gazed out the window and watched as we drove by buildings. The sky was pitch black and the only source of light were the lamps on the streets.

Resting my head against the window, I allowed my eyes to briefly close and relaxed. I couldn't wait to arrive at home, fall into my warm bed and cuddle under the covers.

No worries just sleep.