THE BAD GUYS IN: MEGAMIND

No purpose

Megamind and Minion both laugh. Crazy train plays. They go on a crime spree, which does not last long. Cut to Megamind sitting in his office staring at a drinking bird desk toy.

"I know, I know. Always thirsty, never satisfied. I understand you, little well-dressed bird. Purposeless, emptiness. It's a vacuum, isn't it? It's...What's your vacuum like?"

Minion breaks through the door, singing and playing air guitar on a statue.

"Going off the rails on a crazy train, sir!"

"Hey, hey, hey, hey! Not now, Minion. I'm in a heated, existential discussion with this dead-eyed, plastic desk toy"

"Is...is something wrong, sir?"

"Just think about it. We have it all. Yet we have nothing. It's just too easy now"

"I'm sorry. You've lost me, sir"

"I mean, we did it, right?"

"Uh, well, YOU did it, sir. Yes, you've made that perfectly clear"

"Then why do I feel so...melancholy?"

" Melancholy?"

"Unhappy"

"Oh, well, uh...what if tomorrow we could go kidnap Roxanne Ritchie? That always seems to lift your spirits!"

"Good idea, Minion. But without him, what's the point?" He gesturing at the statue of Metro Man.

"Him, sir?"

"Nothing"

"Okay, um... All right, well...That's something to consider, and, um, well, I think I'll just power down for a while, then"

Cut to Roxxanne, broadcasting outside of the Metro Man museum for her news spot.

He was always there for us. Dependable. Perhaps we took him for granted, or maybe... we never really know how good we have it until it's gone. We miss you, Metro Man... I... miss you. And I have just one question for Megamind. Are you happy now? This is Roxanne Ritchie, reporting from a city without a hero. Coming up next, are you ready to be a slave army? What you need to know"she does the cut sign to Hal.

" Aaand, wrap that up and give it to a child on Christmas! Cause we're done"

"Okay. See you tomorrow, Hal"

"Wait, Roxie, I'm havin' a party at my house, It's gonna be like off the hook, or whatever. You should come over. I got a DJ, rented a bouncy house, made a gallon of dip. It's gonna be sick!"

"Oh, I...I don't know, Hal. I don't really feel like being around a bunch of people"

"No, no, no! That's the best part, it'll just be like, you and me" Awkward Silence.

"Wow! That...um, that's certainly very tempting. But..."

"I did hire a wedding photographer. That's just in case we were like, something crazy happened and we wanted a picture of it like, maybe we should have this for like, ever. Like a memory, you know?"

"Um, I'm gonna pass. I have some work here that I need to do, anyway"

"Cool. So, Thursday? Soft Thursday?"

"Goodnight, Hal"

"It's a soft yes on Thursday"

Roxanne turns and goes up the stairs, he goes back to his van.

"What's wrong with me?! "Rented a bouncy house?" Chicks don't like bouncy houses, they like clowns!" he hits his van and Roxanne hears him shout.

"Ow! Aaah! Stupid van! You broke my finger!"