Love Hurts (boyxboy)

Chapter 15: The return

"You swear that you won't regret this?"

☆

"Peter?" Josh drops his bag on the floor, on seeing his old school friend sitting at the kitchen table. "What's going on? Why are you here?"

"I've just graduated from college in Germany and I've decided I want to find work... back home."

"But why are you here?" Josh asks once again. "It's been years. You disappeared off the face of the earth. Why choose now to come back?"

"Peter, will you stay for some dinner?" Josh's dad wonders as he heads to the fridge.

"It depends on Josh." Peter looks at the other male, anticipating an answer. Preferably the invitation to stay.

Josh walks towards the table, taking a seat opposite Peter. "You talk, and I'll listen." He says, staring at his estranged friend, not wanting to be too forgiving. He had been fooled by the intentions of others too many times.

Peter smiles at the response. "Let's eat,  then let's go for drinks…"

****

"It's so good to see you." Peter reiterates.  It's probably the fourth time he had said it.

Josh looks at Peter, beer bottle in hand. He emits a small grin. "Your hair." Josh pats the top of Peter's new buzz cut. "You said you'd keep your long hair forever."

"Well, I had to grow up at some point." Peter smiles, taking a drink of his beer. "So your Dad tells me you have a new job. How's it going?"

"Interesting." Josh looks down, smiling to himself.  "Do you remember that guy I had a real big crush on?"

"Neil?"

"He's my boss." Josh raises an eyebrow.

"Really?...and do you still like him?" Peter looks intently at Josh as if his life depended on it.

"Well...it's complicated."

"Complicated?"

Josh leans in and whispers in Peter's ear.

"Seriously...in the bathroom?"

Josh raises his eyebrow again as he takes in a mouthful of beer. "It's done now, though... I'm over it."

Peter chuckles under his breath.

"Pete." Josh lets go of his beer bottle and rests his arms on the bar, turning to him a little more head-on. 

Peter looks at Josh. "Pete, why did you not answer my messages for three years? I thought I'd done something wrong. I didn't, did I?"

Peter looks down at the beer mat in front of him. "It was a difficult time in my life. I was in a, shall we say an unhealthy relationship."

"What happened?"

Pete clears his throat. "I'll give you the short version. Basically, I'm gay, and... I met the wrong man. I guess I got consumed with it. I forgot who is really important to me. I forgot you."

Peter's eyes stay focussed on Josh's. It causes Josh to question. "What? What is it?"

"The reason I came back…" Peter begins.

"Yeah, you said you were looking for work." Josh replies, turning his gaze away to the focus on the beer mat his bottle was standing on.

"And another reason." Peter clears his throat and puts his bottle down. "Josh, can you look at me a minute?" Josh looks up at Peter from studying the beer mat. He notices the sudden change in Peter's facial expression. "Josh, you heard the part where I said I was gay right?"

"Yeah? What of it? Why would that bother me?" Josh gestures to himself as if to point out the obvious.

"Josh, I've liked you since we were 13... and I still like you." Josh just looks at Peter. A little lost for words. It was as if history was repeating itself, yet only this time, he was on the other end of it. "You've gone quiet." Peter bites a little on his lips to hide his apprehension.

"No, it's... it's just I wasn't expecting it. That's all." Josh smiles back at Peter, trying to reassure him the best he can. "Pete, you know I love you, right? As a friend."

"Yeah... I know. I'm just fed up carrying it around with me like a heavy bag. I just needed to tell you."

Josh smiles. "I get that. Carrying that with you for years. It can weigh you down and stop you from moving on."He slaps a hand on Peter's leg. "You know what? Josh smiles.

"What?"

"We need a night out and a proper night out if you know what I mean. Fancy a club?"

"You're on."

Josh begins to get up from his seat.

"What... now?"

"Yeah. No time like present…"

***

"... And we ended up at some guys wedding." Josh says, doubling over with laughter, as the two friends sat on a bench seat against a wall in a busy night club.

"Jesus Josh, how drunk were you?" Peter rolls his head towards Josh.

"Very, because I can't remember a thing. I just got told about it the next day." He takes a sigh, looking ahead at the dancing crowds.

"How drunk are you now? Will you remember tonight?" Peter asks, smiling.

"Course! I've only had beers. Don't worry." Josh puts his hand on Peter's upper leg tapping It. Peter looks down at the hand resting on his thigh and places his own hand on top. He then pushes his fingers in between linking them. Josh now looks down at the connected hands. Then up at Peter, who is looking at him, or to be more precise, his lips. He doesn't really have time to register before Peter's lips are on his. Josh's eyes widen in shock. Peter can feel the kiss being one-sided, like he is kissing a sleeping mouth. He pulls away. "I'm sorry. I just..."

Josh suddenly pulls at the collar of Peter's top, hurried, desperate. He didn't know if he wanted to really kiss Peter or just wanted to feel loved by someone. But what he did know was that in that moment,  it felt good.

Peter pulls Josh in closer, the sounds, the noises around them disappear as they become lost in each other. Peter again pulls away from the kiss. "You swear that you won't regret this?"

Josh smiles back, "I swear." He gets up off the bench and pulls at Peter's hand. "C'mon. Let's get out of here."