silver | d.m.

38.over

July 2005 | H E R

It's over.

It's really over.

He has found his true love.

It's over.

It's over it's over it's over it's over it's ove-

Why can't I wrap my head around it?

Mama, please hold me.

Why does it hurt so bad?

It won't stop!

I want out of my skin.

Not the death of her parents, no-him, Draco Malfoy and his stupid big heart that he is unaware of-he is the great undoing of Tiana Silver.

He is her biggest, her worst, her most shattering heartbreak. As in, the pieces are not just scattered, but chipped and chipped and chipped so many little pieces that the big ones don't fit anymore.

"What did you expect me to do? Did you want me to cry over you every night and be hung up?"

Yes, that is exactly what she wanted. Let him be hung up because he started this shit. He wanted more. If you want more, there should be feelings involved. There were feelings involved, she could feel it that night, fuzzy and foggy, blurry and blending into one another, but clear in the way he looked at her differently then. So determined and full.

Though apparently, it wasn't enough to last distance and time. It wasn't strong enough to keep him from falling for someone else. Someone entirely different.

"You made your fucking decision, then and there, Tiana. I asked you something and you gave me your answer. I acted according to it. I'm not going to wait forever."

He sure did not wait.

Gosh, she feels like a fool-for the the wasted time on hoping he would come back unchanged. For the wasted tears while his cheeks stayed dry, yet here she is shedding more and more with no way to turn off the tap.

"Just because you can't get over getting cheated on. Time to get over your big fucking ego, big girl. Welcome to the real world."

That part was nice. That one landed straight where he wanted it to. That one took it's hit and stings like a bitch, even after a week.

It is her right to feel insecure after and about getting cheated on, she knows that. Just like she knows she isn't a special case. Shit like that happens, but it leaves a mark and, as it turns out, affects future relations.

Tiana pours her entire heart into every relationship and then some, so why wouldn't that be enough? What if she wouldn't be enough for Draco?

I'm not. It's over.

He loves another woman.

Her wallowing in self-pity and tearstained pillows-something well earned and damn well appropriate-is interrupted by her door slamming open.

Feeling like a clump of nothing, Tiana lays still on the bed, face down, as Killian bursts into her room, storming directly to the stereo system to turn down the loud heartbreak music.

"No!"

If she is feeling like her entire world is crumbling down, like, this I will never be able to move on from, she very well goodbye her lover through it and whatever else speaks her language. As dramatic as it is, she doesn't give a flying fuck.

"Enough of the James Blunt and ice cream!" Killian stalks to her bed. "I have watched long enough!"

Pointing his wand at the tub of icecream on the bedside table, he makes it vanish. Rage bubbles up, but before she knows it, he attempts to pull down her pants. "I will cut those into shreds," he threatens and she begins to kick him in alarm.