The Fear of Falling Apart | Just One Regret #2

Chapter 24

"A-And t-then t-they b-brought h-him back b-but he w-wasn't b-breathing!"

Dr Jo wrote something down. "So, he was stillborn?"

"I-I guess." I whimpered.

"Oh dear. Okay... so, what happened when you were allowed to hold him?"

"W-We took pictures and w-well I held him tight and I didn't want to lose him b-but they took him away!" I sobbed.

"Did you give him a name?"

I nodded. "P-Parker. Parker Damien Urie."

"You went with Damien for the middle name." She stated, sounding interested.

I nodded. "I panicked and made it G-Gerard first but I-I wanted to suggest it and S-Sarah suggested Damien."

"Did you like the choice?"

I nodded. "I th-think it was a g-good choice."

"Why's that?"

" I-It was sort of like, it felt like I w-was closing that ch-chapter, and starting a new one. L-Like I was putting it b-behind me."

"That's wonderful to hear Brendon." She smiled.

"I miss him..."

"Parker?"

"Yeah."

"Well that's understandable."

"I feel like I've lost so many people." I murmured.

"To be honest Brendon, you have. But I am incredibly proud of the way you've bounced back. And I have no doubt you'll do it again."

"Yeah. maybe..." I tried to hold back the tears.

Dr Jo pushed the box of tissues on the table towards me. "So where is Sarah now?"

"Still at the hospital."

"Ho w is she coping?"

"Not well, as expected."

"And how is that affecting you?"

"I feel terrible. I want to help her but I can't because I'm just useless!"

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I'm sad and everyone's already sick of my crying to them! Gerard's been so busy and I feel like he's avoiding me and Patrick won't answer any calls."

"If Gerard's busy, then it's not his fault that he can't spend time with you Brendon. And Patrick possibly has his own reasons too. You're grieving, Brendon, and there's nothing wrong with that. You just need to take some time to grieve, and Sarah does too. That's why it doesn't feel like you're efforts are working. You need time to heal a broken heart, just like you need time to mend a broken arm."

"Yeah, whatever." I sighed, getting up from the seat.

"Brendon, time isn't over yet. Sit back down."

"Don't care." I mumbled, leaving the room.

Dr Jo followed me out. "Brendon, come back inside."

"You said I needed to grieve, so I will. Over all the four significant people I've killed. Bye."

She grabbed my arm. "Brendon, come back inside now. We need to talk."

"No we don't." I muttered.

"Yes, we do. Come on, now."

"ABOUT WHAT?!"

"About the fact that you believe you've killed 4 people, when in fact you've killed none."