helmet love // 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐬

XXII

Peace. Not silence, but peace.

I peel my eyes open, feeling drained of energy. I'm in a hotel room, tucked comfortably under a thin duvet. Whose hotel room? I don't know, but it's not mine. I feel paralysed, all I can do is move my head to look around me. Outside is pitch black, with not a single light in sight. Only a small bedside light cascades a soft, warm, golden glow around the room. I can hear running water coming from a narrow, black door; someone is in there. I'm not alone. My head didn't want to react, I had no feelings towards not knowing who is behind that door.

I close my eyes again, resting my head back into the soft pillow. I feel like I've got a 100kg weight on my neck rather than a head. Am I hung over? I've never felt like this after drinking before. Was I spiked? I don't feel the need to throw up. This can't be a hang over.

The door unlocks, the low click of the lock sliding back into the door gently rings around the room. I strain to open my eyes again, side eyeing the door as it glides open without making a sound. Lando walks out, carefully placing his steps like he's sneaking around. He pulls the door shut, but not into the lock. He looks over to me, his eyes full of worry; they relax when he finds me awake, unable to move.

"Hey." Is all he says, making his way over to the bed and sitting beside me.

"Hi." I reply, my voice sounding scratchy.

I groan, waking up only the limbs necessary to hoist myself up. I feel elderly, all of my joints and muscles are brittle and delicate. Lando winces as he watches, unsure whether he should help out. "Careful."

"I'm not dead, I'm fine." I mumble, brushing some hair off my face and rubbing my eyes. "What happened?"

"Brad thinks you had an attack of some sort." Lando explains shortly, keeping his voice down.

"I've never had an anxiety attack, or a panic attack?" I voice. "What caused it?"

"You tell me."

I blink at him, clueless. An attack? It definitely felt like I was being attacked from the inside out, let me tell you that. But that couldn't have been a panic attack or anxiety attack, could it? I don't have anxiety? Nor do I have a panic disorder. I remember being terrified. That's all. Everything else I wasn't a part of. Physically, yes, but that doesn't mean it felt like I was genuinely there.

"Was it because of what happened with you and Lewis at Mercedes?" Lando asks, moving to sit on the bed next to me rather than at my side.

"No, that was ages ago?" I correct him, narrowing my eyes in thought. "I'm past whatever happened at-"

"Are you scared it'll happen again?" Lando interrupts my trail of thought.

It's going to happen again? No, I can't go through that again. That period of my life felt like it took 5 years off of me. I won't be able to cope if that happens again. It would be twice as bad as well. Ally will be down my neck 24/7 until I eventually get fired or quit, Brad would be so disappointed in me, and Lando would be furious that I've put his position at risk. I can't control whether it happens though. I was so careless, I shouldn't have gone to Monte Carlo. I should've gone home-

"Stop, whatever you're thinking." Lando's hand on my leg drags me back to reality. "That's what caused it then?"

"I don't know." I mumble, putting my head in my hands. "Probably, I can't think of anything else."

"Marci, if this whole thing gets blown up like it did with Mercedes, none of us will turn our backs." Lando reassures me, tightening his grip on my leg just enough for me to notice. "Including Ally, no matter how scary that woman is."

I chuckle at Lando's comment, nodding in agreement. Finally, there's a sign of life inside the emotional state of my mind. I'm not straight away feeling fine, but he's brought some light back into what feels like a black hole inside my head. Trying to piece everything together is like having a 100-piece-puzzle and no picture reference.

"McLaren won't let you go like Mercedes did." Lando goes back to his point. "Ally knows your talent when it comes to social media, and everyone knows you as part of the team."

"Social media is hardly a talent." I scoff with a smile, finally looking at him. "It's just about knowing your audience, and what's trending on all the platforms."

"If it was that easy, we wouldn't have a social media team." Lando corrects me, raising his eyebrows.

"Fair enough."

I stay mute as I look at Lando, the pair of us deep in thought. Just like I am deep in shit! I can't decide whether getting to know Lando was a good idea or not. Plus, if it was a bad idea, whether I actually care about it. Career-wise, it was a bad move. From both of us. We've both gotten ourselves into some kind of situation ship where we've fallen for the wrong person. I've reverted back to my old ways that the media portrayed, and gotten myself involved with an F1 driver. Lando likes the girl that his rival team fired for getting herself in a pickle with one of their drivers. Our reputations are on the line for such a simple thing.

"What do we do?" I ask, starting a serious conversation despite the lack of energy.

Lando releases an exhale from his lips, leaning his head back against the headboard and staring at the blank wall at the end of the bed. "Just carry on keeping it quiet."

"And when it gets out?" I ask, as we both already know it's going to happen soon.

"Do what we want?" Lando shrugs. "It's not like they'd be lying."

No, the press wouldn't be lying. Me and Lando- apparently- actually like each other. Which is really weird to say! I thought it would be a one-night-only thing where me and Lando never talk again afterwards, but here we are! The one thing that wouldn't be true is that we're dating. Simply because we're not. Would that be frowned upon as well? Oh God, what if it gets displayed as a friends-with-benefits relationship?

"I should probably get going." I mumble, getting up and stretching my arms in the air. "I don't even know what the time is."

"There's no way you're walking back to the hotel in the dark." Lando scoffs, shaking his head at me. "Just stay here."

"And risk the paparazzi catching me in the morning?" I state, pointing my thumb towards the door. "Nah, they've seen enough already."

"Your safety is more important than a few photos." Lando lectures on.

"I'll get a taxi, I'll be-" The doors locked. "Where's the key?"

"Don't have it." Lando smirks, crossing his arms.

"Yes you do, don't lie." I snicker, trying the door again. "Come on, just open it."

"I will, in the morning." Lando gets up from the bed, slowly approaching me. "Brad has asked me to keep you here, so I'm doing him a favour."

"Since when was Brad my Dad?" I mutter, shaking my head. "I'm not incapable of looking after myself."

"Marci, it's just for tonight." Lando argues, putting a hand on my shoulder. "In case what happened earlier happens again, no one wants you to be on your own."

"And Ally was totally ok when everyone decided being with you was the best option?"

Lando opens his mouth to say something, then sighs when nothing comes out. That means that either Ally doesn't know I'm here, or they've lied to her and said I'm somewhere else. Or she just didn't get involved in whatever happened earlier so no one has bothered to inform her.

"We might've said you're with Brad." Lando says with a wince, causing me to put my head in my hands.

"Because I haven't already lied to my manager enough, right?" Could this situation get any worse than it is? "Fine, I'm here now, I'll stay."

"You didn't have an option, in the nicest way possible."

"I get your point!"