We end up settling into a silence, I notice him beginning to fidget and I feel kind of awkward, like maybe I should say something. I just don't know what to say. I don't realise how I'd been inching towards him until my hand brushes against his. I go to pull it back when he encases my cold hand in his surprisingly warm one.
Our eyes meet and I feel breathless as he brushes his thumb over my knuckles. "That was a heck of a right hook you gave my brother." He mumbles a smile on his face as he looks up at me. "Yeah, sorry about that I-"
"Nah he deserved it, he's stupid and runs his mouth but he don't mean no harm." I nod, "feel free to punch him whenever he pisses you off because he definitely will." I nod again with a sort of awkward laugh, I didn't really want to talk about Merle anyways.
"Yeah I'm pretty sure I pulled a muscle in my shoulder so I think my punching days are behind me." I tell him my cheeks beginning to warm in embarrassment. He chuckles and instructs me to get up so that he could help with the pain. I comply and stand with my back to him, my heart beating so hard I'm sure he can hear it.
I can't help but shiver once I feel his breath on my skin, "you cold?" He asks making my cheeks burn now. "Yeah, a bit." I lie, "but I'm fine." I add quickly getting an unintelligible grunt in response. I hold my breath once he brings his hand up to my sore shoulder. "Woah." The word slips out of my mouth at how much better he'd already made my shoulder feel.
"You've got magic hands." I add making him laugh under his breath, "you're just really tense." He hums as he works the tension out of my shoulder blades. "You should've been a masseuse or something." I mumble making him laugh again. "You feelin better?" He asks once he stops and I turn to face him. "So much better, thank you." He shakes his head as if to say don't mention it.
As I look up at him, I'm not indecisive or overthinking for once. I know that I want to kiss him. I also want him to be the one to kiss me this time, like he was about to before Andrea's arrival. Almost like he can read my mind Daryl's face begins to lower to mine. Suddenly impatient, my body reacts faster than my brain and my hands reach up to Daryl's face. I pull his face down to mine, my lips meeting his. This wasn't like the soft and gentle little kisses I'd given him before, this kiss was different, impatient, desperate.
Despite the kiss not being as gentle as the others Daryl is still fairly gentle with me, he grips my hips and pulls me to him. My hands travel slowly from either side of his face to his shoulders as Daryl deepens the kiss. My body moves instinctively against his, allowing him to take the control from me. He groans against my lips and begins to sink back down onto the stool he'd been sat on before.
His hands still gripping my waist as he pulls me down with him, I straddle him with ease my hold on his shoulders providing me with the balance. My arms extend so that my hands meet behind Daryls head, my fingers find the hair at the nape of his neck. Playing with his hair elicits another groan from him, something that lights a fire in my stomach. I love the sound and want to hear it over and over and over-
I can't help myself as my entire body freezes up. Daryl immediately pulls away from me concern consuming his entire face. "You okay?" He questions softly, my voice is gone, my throat closed up completely as I'm unable to move, even an inch.
"Selene?" I try and pull myself together enough so that I can at least get off of him. "What's wrong? Did I do something? Did I hurt you?" His words manage to squeeze into my mind and stay there. I'm finally able to shake my head as I pull myself back, off of Daryl.
"No, you didn't do anything." I manage to get the words past my gritted teeth as I wrap my arms around myself. He stands from the stool eyebrows pulling together once I flinch at the movement. "You didn't do anything," I reiterate. "I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, we can carry on." Daryl frowns as I speak, "Selene, don't apologise. We don't have to do that, it's okay." I nod squeezing myself tightly to try and stop the burning I could feel behind my eyes.
"What's wrong?" Daryl asks softly as he watches me, he'd reached out for me but retracted his arms as soon as they'd moved in my direction. "I- I don't know, I'm sorry I don't know why I'm crying." The word stupid continuously bounces around my brain as my heart begins beating faster.
"Stop saying sorry, come on sit down." I take a seat on my bunk as my breathing begins to feel laborious. Daryl takes the seat on my stool once more and keeps a distance between us as he faces me. I feel embarrassed and ashamed as well as just stupid and I don't want to let him see me like this.
"Selene." I look up through blurry vision, "it's okay to cry." My instinct is to say sorry again but he told me to stop apologising so I don't. I wipe my eyes as I force myself to start taking deeper breaths. Once I've calmed I do notice Daryl looks uncomfortable but it seems his concern trumps the discomfort as he still watches me with wary eyes.
"I'm sorry, I don't know why I... I just," I did know why I'd reacted like that, I just didn't feel comfortable saying it, during our make out Daryl's hand had brushed against some of my skin on my hip, more specifically a scar and it'd triggered something in me I guess.
"I really like you Daryl but I don't think I'm ready for all that." I still feel stupid and embarrassed. Being this open and vulnerable was making me feel sick, I hated it and I hated myself for ruining the moment we'd just shared. I just wished that I was normal.
"I uh like you too, uh I don't know what you want from me, if you want me to be your boyfriend or something." He seems as nervous as me which helps me feel better. "But whatever you want, I want to give you. I don't care about taking things slow or whatever we can just be together, no pressure just whatever you wanna do." My heartbeat begins to return to normal as Daryl speaks, his voice is calm and it's sincere. I don't know what I'd been worried about but he makes me feel so much better, I don't feel so stupid anymore and I don't feel as embarrassed, I feel normal, like this is a normal issue and that I'm not being a problem.
I grab his hands, "thank you." I mumble softly making him shake his head, "you ain't got nothing to thank me for."
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Ok so I have a quick question for you guys, do you guys want me to write smut? Some people have already requested this and I have no problems with writing it, if that is what people want lol. My only thing is that I've never had any experience irl or in reading smut, I'm like 95% that I'm asexual so it's not really something that interests me and so if I do write it, it may not be the best but I'm still willing to give it a shot lol just comment a yes if you want me to write it here. Oh also tysmmm for 12k reads I am in shock and disbelief, I honestly didn't think that anyone would read this bc I just started it for fun and don't think my writing is any good. But thank you guys for reading, I hope you're all enjoying and if there's anything you don't like feel free to comment it I'm open to criticism, this being my first fanfic and all anyways bye ☺️
Thirty Eight
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