The girl behind her smile

- 27 -

He allowed me.

This feeling of exhilaration had left my body months ago, I had been drowning in my affliction for a while - even if I had payed no attention to it. Jasper was like a breath of fresh air, he made my heart race, my mind work and my soul eager. I had never felt such strong emotions before.

Not even in hate.

But with Jasper, there was a passion sprinkled with hesitation. I knew I disliked him, but did I hate him enough to disregard his apologies? I knew I loved the way his smile reached his eyes, the way my name rolled off his tongue, but did I love him for who he was?

Love.

It's such a strong word, and I don't even use the term hate so freely. But here I am, going against my usual train of feelings, for some boy who barged into my life and had my emotions in a chokehold. A sexy one. But a chokehold nonetheless.

"Hey, let's go on the ferris wheel, the city would be beautiful with all the lights and everything." His eyes turn to me with eagerness, and his hands were already clamped around my own.

"Oh, I don't know," My heels dig slightly into the mud, slowing our pace down, "I'm kind of scared of heights, Jasper."

He raised our entwined hands, "It's alright, I'll be holding your hand the entire time, it's safe."

I shake my head softly, "No, I- I don't know if I'm brave enough to do that."

He pauses in the middle of the path, taking both of my palms into his own, "Let me prove to you that you can trust me."

The integrity in his voice made my heart leap, and so I nod my head, "Ok, let's go."

The night sky had fallen like a sheet over us, and small clusters of stars could be spotted amongst the flashing lights. We clamber on to the cart of the Ferris wheel, and immediately it had lifted. I bounce my legs against the seat, a small pit of anxiety forming in the bottom of my stomach as I glance sideways out of the rising cart.

Warm fingers entwine with my own and my head snaps to my right, "Hey, it's ok, I'll hold your hand, if anything happens you're safe with me."

Just as his sentence finishes, the loud clattering sounds of fireworks rise behind us, and both of our attention diverts to the bursts of colours that litter the sky. The trepidation in my heart slows down as I look in awe, I had never seen something so beautiful in my life. 

"It's so pretty." I breathe.

"Yeah, it is." 

I bring my head to face him, his eyes already watching me, and I became aware of our fingers that were loosely held in the palms of each others hands - still seeking comfort. The fields in his eyes were switching between my own, and there was some sort of palpable tension in the air. For a split second my attention diverts to his rose tinted lips, and as they open, I look back up.

His voice was low as he whispers, "Do I have permission to kiss you, Eliza?"

Unable to speak, my head slowly nods, never once losing contact with his orbs - even as his free hand raises to the side of my face. His warm palm meets my cheek, and I watch as his head draws closer. My eyes close, and all I could feel was the sensation of his lips on my own. My mind slows down, and a wave of calm washes within me, this felt right. 

I feel the soft skin, melt against my own. It was slow and sweet, and we both had held it.  This was most definitely unlike our last kiss. The seconds felt as though they had lasted for hours, and I had never been more hyper aware in my life. 

I didn't want this feeling of content to end.

My breath hitches, as he pulls away, and the wish to bring my own against his overwhelms me, so I do as my heart desires. I catch a glimpse of his eyes widened in surprise, before closing over my own once more. A small feeling of satisfaction settles in me, I had managed to take him off guard, just as he did for me.

Our mouths move in synchronisation with one another, relaxed and undemanding, almost to the beat of the blaring music beneath us. I smile, satisfied, as we both pull away once more. His thumb runs over the back of my hand, finally realising the tight hold we had with one another. We hold a silent stare for a few seconds, and I notice the way his eyes reflect the colours that exploded behind us, mirroring my own soul. 

"Wow." I breathe, a foolish smile placed upon my lips. The weight of his still lingers, and I could feel the ghost of what had happened only seconds ago.

"Wow." He echos, a stupid smile also placed upon his own lips.

"So," I swallow, looking down, a nervous pit forms in my stomach, "What does this make us?"

His hand guides my face back up, "I would like to be your boyfriend, but the decision is yours."

"You're making me really fucking nervous, Hastings." I admit truthfully.

He chortles, "I really fucking hope so, because you have three times that effect on me."

I pause, and my eyebrows crease, "I do?"

"You do," He nods, "You are much more than I ever accounted you for, I hope you know that."

"I wish I could say the same about you." I hold back a laugh, and I nudge him, "Just kidding."

"So answer the question then, will you be my girlfriend?"

I suck my teeth, pretending to ponder on his question, "Ooooh. You're going to have to give me at least three business days to think about that one Jasper."

He pokes the side of my ribs, a playful smile on his face, "Be serious Eliza."

I bring both my hands up, clasping his rouge cheeks and feeling how warm they were under my cool skin. I bring my arms back towards me, drawing his face to my own, and I melt my lips onto his. It was short and sweet, and when I break away, I had to bite the grin between my lips.

"I hope that answers your question, Hastings." I breathe.

"I'm not sure I understood it to be honest, do you mind trying again?"

I peck him once more, "How about now?"

"Mmm, there seems to be some sort of mistranslation, why don't you show me once more?"

"Sorry, that's all you get." I reply, bringing my arms down, and I move away slightly.

Before we return to our original positions, his hand clasps the back of my neck, encasing most of my hair between his fingers. His lips met my own once more, and after we share the few seconds of excitement, he withdraws.

"I think I understand now." He whispers.

———

EEEKKKK THEY KISSED!! Only 27 chapters in ;)

Small announcement, I will be going on a small hiatus (May-June) due to upcoming exams, but I will be posting three more chapters along with this one, call it a quadruple update if you will, just too keep you guys hooked. This book has not yet finished, but will be reaching its final chapters once I return from my hiatus, so keep yourselves busy in the meantime! Stay happy and healthy guys!

Thank you,

Elle x