The girl behind her smile

- 13 -

Over the next few weeks, Jasper became more tolerable, he had returned to his aloof demeanour, the one I had known before finding out what he enjoyed in his free time. Being sat in maths with him had once again began to drive me up a wall with how annoying he had become. I admit, I was scared in the beginning, I was unsure what his next plan of action was to torment me. But as lessons passed I was able to relax a bit more, after figuring out he was only going to continue acting like a three year, and was going do nothing to harm me.

I had decided, that when I gather my courage, I will ask him about what deal he has with Ezra, because if I wasn't going to find out from Ezra, I will find out from Jasper. And I will do what I can to help stop it. I understand my actions may contradict my words of telling him that I trust him, but his promise to me did not mention him revealing what the issue was between them, so I think this was the loophole I had to help.

I figured out that Eli knew what it was too, because when I asked him yesterday to stop Ezra, he replied with being unable to. Normally, Eli would do anything to help keep us out of trouble, but this reply revealed to me that he knew everything he needed to. And that he agreed with Ezra's choice. I wouldn't get any help from him.

As Christmas started to approach, I decided to take up more shifts, spending my time drowning myself in work and revision. As the days went by, I found myself becoming more and more exhausted, I knew it was because of how little time I was giving myself to relax, but I chose to ignore it and I kept driving forwards. If I stopped, I was afraid I would be dragged down with my suffocating thoughts that we would be spending Christmas alone and without dad for the first time.

Ironically, it seemed as though everyone around me was starting to heal a bit. Mum had stopped going to work every day over the course of November. It could be because the doctors had advised her to stop over exerting herself, or the stress was going to affect her heart, or it could be because she was getting more comfortable with the fact that her husband was no longer with her.

It was almost like we had switched roles.

I stood waiting for Riya outside the pavilion, it was the last lunch before school broke off for the Christmas holidays.

"I know you're behind me Riya." I say aloud to the figure behind me.

"You're actually no fun, you know that?" She says hitting me lightly on the arm with a pout.

"Well I'm hungry and I want to eat, so save your tears for later." I dismiss her complaint.

We sit down on a bench outside the canteen, and begin to eat.

"Hey, so I was thinking, we could go ice skating in town, the rinks open again this year." Riya suggests.

"What day were you thinking?" I ask.

"Maybe the 24th? We're going to leave for holiday after boxing day so we can't do after Christmas."

"Yeah that's fine, I'll book our tickets tonight."

"Hey, don't look back but Jasper is behind you, he-he's kissing the wall?" Her voice rises an octave in confusion as it nears the end of her question.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion before I whip my head around to see her claim, and sure enough there he stood, his back facing us. I crane my neck forwards slightly to get a better view, he wasn't kissing the wall, he was kicking it. His hand was raised to his ear, he was on he phone.

"Hey! Hey!" Riya grabs my face and brings it back round to her, her thumb and finger squishing my cheeks, "What part of 'don't look back' did you not understand?"

"All of it." I mumble back, my voice slightly distorted due to the restriction her hand had placed on me.

"Well next time, understand it!" She hisses.