For a life form like Stuff, who gained his strength from exploiting the unpredictable, it might sound strange that his year always starts the same way. At the start of his third year in this world, a day-long party starts, where only the servants more prone to hedonism manage to compete with their Master. The second day is entirely spent recovering from that first day and servants are mostly left to their own devices. Chaldea only starts working as intended on the third day, but even this day has gained its own habits.
"Good morning sweet prince." The woman earnestly waiting on her master's awakening is no other than the Emperor of Roses herself. A woman who used all the strings she could pull to gain 'the right to be the first person her contractor and lover lays his eyes on' as she said herself.
The Master summoned his glasses, slowly adapting himself to the peering light. Looking at the emperor, he gently caressed her cheek before answering. "Prince, huh? And I suppose in that analogy, you'd be the princess of my heart."
Nero smiled in response, a smile which made starting every day worth the while. "Umu! It would be an honor to occupy the foremost position in that heart of yours!" She giggled, which caused the master to flash a smile.
"Would that not be a downgrade from your position as a Roman emperor?" He asked, still playing with her hair.
"I am the greediest woman in History my dear. Everything I lay my hands upon is mine for so long as I desire. And despite all the treasure I have accumulated, your love is the only thing matching my boundless empire." She scooted closer, stealing a soft peck from her beloved.
"Now you're just buttering me up. Is there something you want?" Despite his tone, Stuff's attitude hadn't shifted from usual. The Roman Emperor took it as her cue to move even closer, their bodies now in close proximity.
"Perhaps there is something I want... but, the better question is... do you want to do something? To me specifically. Do you not feel anything when the woman of your life gets closer to you? When her soft breasts rub on your toned body? When her breath gives that bit of stimulation to your ear? When your mana tank parts my thighs, getting ever closer to a woman's most sacred pla-"
That was the last straw, and the Master of Chaldea pushed his woman down, an obvious lust showing on his face. "Maybe I do feel something." That was the only answer he was willing to give to Nero.
"Then show me." The couple was about to indulge in their moment, when a loud noise echoed from a room across.
"MAAAAAAID! KIIIIIIIIICK!" The muffled noise came from the opposing wall as it shattered into pieces. Due to the positioning, most of the stray rubble touched Stuff in the back, leaving the Roman Emperor mostly out of harm's way. The moment the Master's back recomposed, he could feel high heels jumping on him.
"Untolerable." Those were the only words she uttered as she was standing right over the Master's abdomen, rifle in hands. Stuff only stared back in confusion. "I've heard of your power, Stuff from Chaldea. This display has been pathetic. You truly aren't worthy of being served by myself.
"You're a maid?" Stuff asked, which caused the so-called maid to introduce herself.
"Indeed, I go by Artoria Pendragon Alter. When I heard from Da Vinci about a certain Stuff, who was said to bear powers higher than most, I thought he would be a Master deserving of my high class treatment. Turns out, this has all been empty promises." She dug her heels further into the Master's body.
The Master didn't react to the increase in violence, instead adopting a cocky smirk. "And that 'high class treatment' involves standing on the bed with your shoes on? Turns out there's two of us in this room who aren't holding their promises." The bite back at Artoria visibly hit its mark, as the stoic maid quickly turned into a blushing mess.
"M-my apologies Mas- Mr. Stuff." The maid jumped out of the bed to take off her shoes, turning back to the Master in case he, or the Roman emperor had any devious plans. As she was unshoing herself, however, Nero was simply smiling and waving at the maid while the Master regenerated his holed up abdomen. But the moment she was restarting the conversation with the Master, she felt something grabbing her waist. She looked down, then behind her, turned out Stuff summoned one of his appendages to restrain the maid.
She hastily summoned her trusty handgun Secace and shot haphazardly, but somehow, the blasts refused to come out. "That should be good enough." With these words, Stuff slammed the maid servant in the middle of the bed. "Say, you're thinking about what I'm thinking?" The Master's eyes weren't on Artoria, but on Nero.
The emperor placed her hands on the maid, too weak to put up any resistance, hands running along her face. "Hmmm, loathed as I am to admit it, this stone-faced maid is very attractive. Very well, let's have her spend this first day of the year with us!"
"What are you even-" Artoria's words were cut off by Stuff's tongue entering her mouth. The surprise soon enough turned into acceptance as she reciprocated the gesture. As for the future events, they're better off not leaving the room. -------------------------------------------
UOOOOOOOOOOOOH, MALTEEEEEEEER!!!
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Finally I can bring back this book to something more healthy, like anime girls.
I'd like to announce that I have become the latest adherent to the church of Salter. Mainly because the FA art goes hard, especially with the ass right at the center.
