All That We Held Dear - YiZhan (COMPLETED)

Arc V - Better This Way - Part 8

The world should have ended. How could it not after his heart had been torn to shreds and his soul tortured beyond comprehension? Yet, it obstinately refused to. Unperturbed, the sun had risen. Unfazed, the business of life had resumed its course, leaving him feeling like a heavy stone around which the water flew, unable to carry it along, to move it away from this dark place it had landed in.

Xiao Zhan had shown up at the rehearsal for the New Year concert with barely enough energy to function, his still eyes red and his throat raw. Nobody had said anything, maybe because they were too busy to notice or maybe because they didn't want to get entangled with private matters that didn't concern them. Xiao Zhan did his best to mingle and socialize with friends and acquaintances, but many of them had seen the news of his getting punched in Seoul and had known, to some extent, of his visits to Yibo in the hospital and, being kind, had questioned him. Others, not as well-known to him but friends of Yibo, had accosted him to ask about his well-being. Everyone one of them had been well-intentioned, and he'd answered as best he could, but their inquiries had strained his paper-thin emotional control. He'd eventually reached the breaking point and had needed to find a quiet corner to cry and try to compose himself when he'd seen the set he was to perform on. With all the drama in his life, Xiao Zhan had forgotten that this year was the year of the rabbit.

But Xiao Zhan was nothing if not professional, so on the day of the live show, he'd pushed himself to the limit to make sure that his contribution wouldn't be subpar and affect the quality of the broadcast. However, he hadn't been unable to contain his tears when singing the theme song to his upcoming movie with his costar. The song's lyrics, which told of a love that overcame everything, had been too much for him, and his voice had even broken on his last line. Thankfully, he'd managed to recover long enough to chit-chat with the MC, who'd been gracious enough not to address his sudden display of emotions. He'd finished the show in a daze, only later learning that the fans had gone wild over the moving performance and that it was trending at number one. He couldn't have cared less.

Now that his professional obligations were fulfilled, Xiao Zhan didn't know what to do with himself. He'd originally planned to go back to Seoul, but that had been before... His mother had texted him, asking him to come home to celebrate even though the New Year had already officially started, but with his emotions still on such a hair trigger, he wasn't sure he could take a family visit.

He lay on the couch in his pyjamas, a thin blanket covering him. After that first night spent crying in the bathroom, he hadn't been able to sleep in his room. His entire place was filled with memories of Yibo, but he couldn't even bear to look at his bed. Just the thought that the man would never occupy his side of it again, that he would never rest his head on his pillow, was enough to send Xiao Zhan into a panic. The bedroom was also where the box containing the rest of their pictures was stored. He'd done his best to avoid that closet and was ready to order clothes online should he need anything. He already spent every waking moment in pain; he didn't need further triggers. The rational part of him scoffed at all of this, but it currently held no sway over him. This also explained why he wasn't sure when he'd last showered and why his patchy stubble had reached unprecedented lengths.

He'd been staring at the ceiling for a while when his phone buzzed with a call. He ignored it for a moment, but it didn't show any sign of stopping, so he grabbed it off the floor. It was Chiyou. He didn't want to talk to her but knew she wouldn't stop calling until he did.

"Hey," he said.

"Took you long enough to answer. Were you sleeping?" She said.

"Yeah."

"I just wanted to update you on things here. We've found out the person who punched you was paid for it. It was staged, as I suspected. The legal team will take care of it, so you can't put that out of your mind."