All That We Held Dear - YiZhan (COMPLETED)

Arc V - Better This Way - Part 9

Xiao Zhan held his phone with trembling fingers and stared at the message. How... How had Yibo managed to text him? He rechecked the sender.

Y

There was no doubt possible. This had been sent by Yibo. Or, at the very least, it had been sent from his phone. He couldn't imagine why anyone else would send such a message to him, so it had to be him. But how?

Xiao Zhan suddenly realized that while he was in the hospital, he'd never seen the man's phone. Unconsciously, he'd assumed it hadn't survived the accident, the fragile device no doubt destroyed upon impact. But what if it hadn't? True, his head trauma meant that Yibo couldn't stare at screens, but the device could have been stored away in a drawer or sitting on the bedside table, couldn't it? If that were the case, however, why had he never seen it?

Auntie Wang had never mentioned Yibo's phone either, and he'd only ever seen her using her own. He also remembered that he also hadn't seen it at the police station when he'd retrieved Yibo's belongings. One would have expected it to be there alongside his wallet. Could Zhou Yixuan or his family have taken it by accident? But if that were the case, wouldn't he have given it back when he'd visited him after having been discharged back in December?

Xiao Zhan couldn't make sense of any of it, but what bothered him the most was that Yibo had used the words "still" and "too." He was clearly referring to something Zhan had said, but he couldn't remember telling him that he missed him. Could Auntie Wang have told her son that Xiao Zhan missed him when she'd told him he wouldn't come to the hospital after all? It was a nice hope to hold on to, but it made no sense. Why, after begging him to stay away from Yibo, would she have said something like that? It was more logical to think that she'd said he was busy or, worse, nothing at all.

This was connected to another thing he couldn't understand: the tone of the message. It didn't seem sad or angry. Instead, it was as though Yibo wasn't aware that he wasn't coming back and was just telling him that he looked forward to seeing him again. Or was that what that "still" referred to? Was it meant to say, "despite all this, I continue to miss you and want you to come back to me, no matter what"? But this little ray of hope quickly dissipated when taking into account the other unexplained word, "too." What did it mean? It didn't fit in this context.

Xiao Zhan kept shifting the device so the screen would turn back on, but he was terrified to change his grip for fear that he might open the message. He wasn't sure if what he could see was the entirety of it or if there was more, but he didn't want to risk sending a "read" notification. He didn't want Yibo to know he'd seen the message because he was torn. On the one hand, he wanted nothing more than to reply and tell Yibo everything. He wanted to call him and hear his voice. He wanted to be told that everything would be alright. He knew that was the only thing that would alleviate his heartache.

On the other hand, he'd made a promise to Auntie Wang, and as much as it pained him, he meant to keep it. He knew that, objectively, a relationship with Yibo would put them both at risk and that, in the long run, this was probably the safest course of action to ensure the man a bright future. This being a rational thought, it didn't mean that it didn't tear his heart to shreds.

Xiao Zhan was brought back to reality by his mother's voice yelling that dinner was ready from the bottom of the stairs. Not wanting her to lose patience and come upstairs only to see him like this, he quickly got up and carefully put his phone on the bed before wiping the last vestige of tears on his face. He knew he would ponder this conundrum throughout dinner and beyond, but now at least, he had something else but pain on his mind.

Over the next few days, Xiao Zhan soon discovered that being back home meant he couldn't simply stay in bed and wallow in sadness all day: his mother simply wouldn't allow it. He knew she was happy to have him at her side and, being a filial son, he was always ready to help by performing tasks around the house whenever he visited, but it seemed that she's suddenly decided to make him pay for all the extended periods he hadn't been around. From organizing dusty closets to cleaning the roof gutters, it appeared she had an infinite list of things for him to do. As a result, instead of worrying and crying himself to sleep at night, he simply passed out from exhaustion and woke up in the morning feeling refreshed. Unfortunately, this also meant he didn't have much time to think about the text Yibo had sent.