SQUID GAME BTS MAKNAE AWARDS 23 [CLOSED]

Team Taehyung- Mini game 3 Results.✧༝┉˚*❋ ❋*˚┉༝✧

"MINI GAME 3: TUG OF WAR -RESULTS

This is the time every Jungkook player was waiting for. Let's check it out if you survive the brutal game. Well done if you survive the killer shots from the mask executioners.

But no worries if you are one of the two lowest scores in Team Taehyung and are up for execution (elimination).

This is the FINAL MINI GAME for Round 1: The player with the lowers scores will be up for permanent elimination

The TWO Players that are consistently in all three games in the elimination round -will be eligible for FINAL EXECUTION from the Game.

Eg if two players score the lowest in all three games they will be up or executed unless they are safe by a players HEALTH kit

You still have a chance to be redeemed ( saved) by your loyal Team members/Opposing players by them using one of their Health kits 🩹 to save you from the final execution.

Thank you so much for our awesome in-depth reviews.

And now we reveal our TEAM PROTECTOR   MiniiMini for the Team Taehyung  Mini Game 3 Thank you so much for the awesome reviews.

Team Taehyung players please don't feel disheartened by the honesty and killer shots you received from the executioners for your awesome blurbs. It sure hooked me.

Congratulations to the survivors of Mini Game 1.3 The Two Top scorers of Team Taehyung will automatically be finalists in the Best Blurb/Hook Category.

REMEMBER 1 💣 subtract from your score and 1🔆 add to your PROTECTORS' score

🆁🅴🆂🆄🅻🆃🆂

1:  Occultar - 5.5/10 || 2.5/5 = ( 5/10)

"But a devil idiosyncratic human" It just doesn't seem to fit/make perfect sense. Idiosyncratic is also an unnecessary word, as your audience will have trouble understanding it. It takes away from the flow of the hook but doesn't seem to add much to it (I may be wrong as I don't understand your intent correctly, but please do give this a thought as good writing doesn't need to have such heavy words, as in most cases they don't add anything to the piece but are detrimental to its engagement.)The narrative tense keeps shifting, author. A common but damaging mistake. Please keep a consistent narrative tense.Even though only used twice, the words 'mask' and 'disguise' feel overused, perhaps because they are implied a lot more."Or the story is something more complex than it seems?" Please phrase this better. Try: "Or is the story something more complex?" // "Or is it more complex than it seems?"

Team Protector Score: 10.5 /20

Opposing teams' scores - Team Jungkook: +3🔆=  3/6

- Team Jimin: +1 🔆=  1/6

FINAL RESULT-  14.5/ 32

2. Circus of Coulrophobia - 7/10 || 3.5/5

 The word following dialogue isn't capitalized unless a proper noun.Paragraph spacing is extremely important.Sometimes, less is more. A good piece of writing should contain a mix of complex and simple sentences. You write well, you just need to focus on editing/removing extra bits. There were also a couple of places where the phrasing and word choice could be better. Nonetheless, a good job is done.

Team Protector Score: 10.5 /20

Opposing teams' scores - Team Jungkook: +1🔆=  1/6

- Team Jimin: +1🔆=   1 /6

FINAL RESULT-  12.5 / 32

3. Inner child - 7.5/10 || 4/5 =(8/10)

 It's short, sweet, and informative: just as a blurb/hook should be.A few grammatical errors here and there: "someone that had never grown up" →" someone WHO had never grown up""Taehyung has to find out how to fix what has happened" Consider replacing "what has happened" with something shorter like "this mess" but this is just a suggestion."That way" → this way.

Team Protector Score: 15 /20

Opposing teams' scores - Team Jungkook: 0/6

- Team Jimin:   -1💣=   0/6 

FINAL RESULT-   14/ 32

4. Doctor 2 Gangster - 5.5/10 || 2.5/5 =(5/10)

The curse of the shifting narrative tense! Please don't fall prey to this, author. It's too vague for me, overall. I understand that this is the second book, but the hook should—in my (subjective) opinion—be able to be read as that of a stand-alone. If the reader is not attracted by it, they might not bother to search for the first book. "Can the Doctor and Gangster escape it?" → consider: "Can the two/the duo escape it?"

Team Protector Score: 10.5 /20

Opposing teams' scores - Team Jungkook: 0/6

- Team Jimin: 0/6

FINAL RESULT- 10.5 / 32

5. When his heart felt love - 6.5/10 || 3/5= ( 6/10)

 The dialogue at the beginning hits the bullseye. "Young" with "girl" feels a bit off. Consider either removing it or using the word woman instead. "Loves her self-respect" → how about saying, "Jia is an independent, self-respecting young woman, living a happy life with her son and brother..." It has a better feel to it. "Will their lives turn upside down for better or worse?" It would be more impactful if phrased in a slightly different manner: Their lives will turn upside down; will it be for the better — or the worse? This is just a suggestion though. The point is that the final line, as it is, lacks impact. There is potential for more.

Team Protector Score: 12.5 /20

Opposing teams' scores - Team Jungkook: -1 💣=  0/6

- Team Jimin: + 0/6

FINAL RESULT- 11.5/ 32

6. What's Wrong with my Fan - 7.5/10 || 4/5= (8/10)

 It's cute! "...claims to be her huge fan" →grammatically incorrect in this context. change it to either "a huge fan"/"a huge fan of hers" or "her fan". Remove the comma after "little would she know". All of the wonderful authors are welcome to DM me to correct me if I was unable to read your intent with any of the stuff I pointed out. I'd be happy to edit my feedback/give you more in-depth feedback!

Team Protector Score: 15.5 /20

Opposing teams' scores - Team Jungkook:  -1💣=  0/6

- Team Jimin: +1 🔆 + -1💣  0/6

FINAL RESULT-14.5 / 32