My Abyss

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"Look its been some time we've talked and I plan on keeping this this last time we talk.." I sat still for a moment, then looked back at her sad expression. "But Jai, it was only that one.." I raised my hand shaking my head, " I ain't come hea' to explain anything. Just know you ain't gotta worry about me no mo'. Don't call me or text me okay?" She just stared at me biting her bottom lip, " Jai, can we just talk about it?" I sighed leaning back on the black sofa. "Talk about what, we was neva together. Even though I had strong feelin's for you then planned on making you my ol' lady that night , but I get it. That's Jalissa's dad.. you still got feelin's for 'em."

"Jai I still want to be with you. You understand me you make me feel more confident. You accepted me with a daughter and basically treated her as your own..Jai don't do this" I stood up grabbing her hands so she could stand up. Licking my lips I held her a little bit closer, "Janae, this is best. You gone and keep fuckin' ya baby daddy without having to worry about me and you fussin' I'm good." She dropped her hands and begin to shake her head, she chuckled then looked at me. "You got someone else huh?" Once again my lips felt dry so I licked them taking a deep breathing, she stared into my eyes looking for an answer as I looked away ,but all she did was follow and get closer. "I'm right here Jai answer me" I looked down at her pretty face that wasn't one ounce happy at all, her slim arms crossed diagonally over her perky breast and her stance seem to be tilt to the side as she waited. "What I do Janae, don't matter to you no mo' yah heard me. You was my priority na you not you made it clear as day literally that you don't want this so I'm stopping it right na before it get to far." Her arms dropped and she bit her lip, " un uh ..don't start with that whining shit Janae c'mon na you makin' it harder. Especially since you the one that was fuckin' ol dude. " " no Jai that's not far, you know how I feel about him you know this. I didn't mean for it to happen, can we just talk this over and just clear the air ?" I shook my head at her comment, "Naw, you wanted that shit just as much as he did with you. Plus on top of that whea' the fuck was Jalissa. I know you wasn't doing some shit like that and she was hea'!" She about to get me fired up.
What was I thinking, pretty face always got something behind it. "Really? I'm not trifling she wasn't here she was at her grandma ho-" I picked up my phone and keys getting ready to leave. "exactly my point . You set up allat shit , you know if you wanted to be with him. You was using the fuck outta be Janae, what the fuck did I do wrong to make you do that to me. If you just wanted sex from the get go you should of made that shit clear. Na look at us, this is childish bruh and to say I'm 18 you the one actin' immature ." She walked closer to me as a few tears fell from her eyes, I bet my lip in frustration. I didn't even know I had any tears on my face until she wiped them with her thumb. "Jai, look I'm sorry. I want you I really want you and only you." I stared into her brown eyes and sniffed. "I'm sorry too I shouldn't have raged like that , but baby this thing hea' is done yah heard me. And to answer ya question, yes I found me a gawgus and faithful woman, and I love her with all my heart." I kissed her forehead while I rubbed her chin. "You be good to Jalissa, be the mother ya mom wasn't to you. She needs it alright ?" She nodded her head as I left out.
As soon as the door closed I felt a weight lifted off of me. I felt so relieved I faintly smiled getting inside my car. Once I started driving I remembered all that went down in South Carolina and smile. "That girl there" I said outloud thinking about how sexy she looked the first day I laid eyes on her. I think I'm inlove with them legs and the booty, everything is natural on her and I admire her for that. I finally made it home after being stuck in a little bit of traffic. I unlocked my front soon locking it after I made it in it was so quite approving that my mom was at work again. I sighed and grabbed my chips and a water from the kitchen walking into my room. I looked at my bag thinking if I had any left over homework which I didn't and that satisfied me. I sat on my bed and sighed, "damn.."

Its been a week since spring break week and I still can't believe I lost my virginity to Khalil..I thought to myself.

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