#1 Book of the 'Malibu Series'
Lale yilmaz is a 17 year old Turkish Muslim revert who had to move to Malibu because of her fathers new job. Unfortunately, she went through a lot in her home town and her past still haunts her to this day. This causes...
Deze afbeelding leeft onze inhoudsrichtlijnen niet na. Verwijder de afbeelding of upload een andere om verder te gaan met publiceren.
༻❀LALE❀༺
The moment I enter school my fear begins to grow.
I have no idea where I have to go and I feel too anxious to ask someone.
What if I say something wrong and embarrass myself in front of them?
My heart starts pounding so fast and it gets harder for me to breath since I feel cramped in large crowds.
Here are way too many people.
I mean it's school, of course there will be a lot of people but it just makes it worse.
It's not hard to ask someone where the school office is, right?, I think to myself, It's just a simple question.
I wish I could just turn invisible, so no one could see me or even notice me at all.
Why can't I just be normal? Why can't I ask a simple question? There is no escape of the constant negative voices in my head.
It feels like the time has stopped and everyone is watching me.
„They're probably judging you.", my mind tells me, when in reality it's only my anxiety who's lying to me and making it harder than it actually is.
Yet still, I can't stop it. I just can't shut my brain off from overthinking.
It's not that easy.
People who don't suffer from social anxiety don't know how exhausting it is. But they still talk about it like it's nothing serious.
My old best friend told me that I'm overreacting and should act like my age. She was a very outgoing and extroverted person with a lot of friends, so she doesn't know what it's like for someone who suffers from social anxiety.
Some people don't understand that you're at a battle with your mind all the time.
Your mind constantly tells you things which are not true but it makes you believe that it's true. It makes daily tasks and interactions with others harder.
And sometimes it feels like my mind is eating me alive with all these thoughts.
I'd rather lie in my bed right now, read a good book in peace and let my mind breath.
But unfortunately I have no other choice. I need to ask someone or I'll be late for class.
As I'm looking for someone to ask where the school office is, someone bumps into me.
