Say Something...

Progress

---Thomas' POV---

It was eerie, how quickly your entire mood could change. Why I hadn't been exactly happy at that moment, I had just been able to somewhat relax.

Now, my stomach churned violently, making me swallow desperately to keep the bile down. Coldness seeped through my entire being while sweat dampened every single inch of my body.

When Nicolai had suggested coming to David's grave, visiting it, my mind had been all consumed by being faced with David's death.

The mere notion that I could potentially bump into David's parents hadn't even crossed my mind!

Shivering, I slowly turned my head in the direction of the Browns. Sure to find scornful looks, hatred flaming in their eyes because how dare I come anywhere near David's grave.

Yet I found none of that. Not even the pity I feared, nor a smidge of disgust. Instead both offered me warm and kind smiles as they slowly approached.

"You're looking good darling." Monica grinned tearfully, leaning down to envelop me in a soft and warm hug that instantly brought tears to my own eyes. "I'm glad. I'm so glad you're doing better."

Warmth spread where we were touching, making me choke on tears as I leaned into the hug. Desperate to cling and whine and bathe in that motherly love that I had denied myself for far too long.

Another set of hands touched me and I looked up in Richard's gentle gaze. His hand resting on my nape as he too leaned into a hug, as much as my chair allowed them both to hug me.

No matter how awkward it was, I allowed it, embraced them back while ignoring Nicolai's presence behind me.

Why did I push them away? Treated them as if they were going to abandon me? I should've known better.

In my heart, I knew David's parents would never have resented me. I guess a part of me wanted to punish myself by forcing myself to deny their love.

That I didn't deserve to be loved, even though Nicolai had told me time and time again that the accident wasn't my fault. It was simply bad luck, being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Accepting that fact was almost impossible though. Someone had to be to blame for the death of an angelic being like David.

Yet because there was nobody to blame, not even the teenagers who drove the car, it made the mourning process that more difficult.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I-" I cried before being pulled tighter against the Browns.

"Shhh. None of that darling. You aren't at fault. We never blamed you for what happened." Monica pulled away, looking me straight in the eye as she reinstated "You are NOT at fault, Thomas."

She brushed my tears away before pressing a kiss on my forehead before Richard pulled me closer to him.

"I'm glad to see you are doing better. Your cheeks were awfully hollow the last time we saw you."

I flushed, remembering the time where I had barely eaten or refused to eat all together. Partially due to the lack of appetite and partially because I did not want to keep myself healthy and alive.

At least, not then. There were still dark moments where I hoped I would fall asleep one day and just not wake up in the morning.

But those moments were slowly but surely getting rarer with each passing day.

We talked and talked, catching up on everything that happened. Well, mostly everything. I brushed a hand over my lower arms, remembering the healed injuries there.