Love After Love

Chapter 29(Ashton POV)

I'm not denying it, and I will never deny my feelings for her. Why should I deny it? cause what I feel for her is for sure it is the most beautiful feeling in the world. It is almost indescribable, yet I know how to describe it and that is love. Yes, I love her, I fucking love her so much that it hurts to not be able to be with her. I love the way she walks with so much confidence, I love the way her eyes shine, and I know my favorite color and it's grey, her eyes are my favorite because rather than her kissable lips which I want to kiss so damn much, her eyes speak a lot to me, it tells me stories which she can't put it to words, it tells me when she's happy, sad or insecure. I know my El more than she knows herself, I know all of her and now I can't wait to tell her and everyone that she is mine. I want to climb a rooftop and yell to the world that I love her and that she belongs to me, she belongs to Ashton's.

After jake told me about El, I knew how much of a fool I was to not see her, especially her love. I felt so happy knowing that Michelle Collins is in love with Ashton Miller, she was in love with me, I knew I smiled like crazy when jake and the other two gave an "I'm crazy look" yet I don't care. Because now I know why I am so damn worried when I don't see her, why I feel jealous when she talks with other guys, why I keep constantly thinking about her, and why my heart breaks whenever I see those eyes filled with tears. I want to beat myself to know I was the reason for those tears.

Entering through the door where today's party was arranged, I made me and my boys my way up through stairs, once seated we started our drinks, music was on so some danced, people started coming and I was waiting for her, to see her, to hug her and maybe kiss the hell out of her cause I am really happy, I watched her on the ground wearing my t-shirt, I let Jake give her cause I wanted to see her in my t-shirt, let people know that she's mine and goddamn she looked mine, cheering my name.

Looking at the empty cup, I made my way downstairs, stopping at the entrance, and saw bright blue eyes catch mine, Claire was standing looking beautiful as ever, she looked up at me with shock featuring her face and I bet mine was the same. This would be the second time where we both have seen each other cause I was too much of a coward to talk to her which led me to avoid her. I was unsure of my feelings toward her. I was having mixed emotions seeing her yet I knew one thing of all I was happy she was here. Though I don't love her anymore which was clear from day one she came back, she was a friend, my childhood was spent with her, Jason and Seth, Luke and Jake. I was happy to see both my friends back, but hope Jason goes back because seeing him and El makes me go mad with jealousy, she's too friendly with him.

"Ashton" I heard Claire's voice which brought me back to her. I saw her looking at me, and seeing her now I feel nothing towards her, just friendship I believe. To be frank, the way I feel toward El I have never felt with anyone, not even with Claire who I thought I loved for damn two years.

"Claire" letting out I made my way towards her, to finally talk to her, and maybe get closure cause it will always bug me why Claire left me in the past without even saying a word to me.

"How are you?" I asked her smiling sheepishly, to which she let out a chuckle " I'm good, what about you?" she asked in return. I shrugged "as always, I'm good, in fact lately, it's been amazing". I said to her, my mind going back to El and her pouty face, I'm sure seeing my face now people would think I have gone crazy.

"Is that so? that is because of Michelle right?" Claire questioned and I nodded my head to it unknowingly. Coming to my senses I looked at her in shock. "What? The whole school talks about you both. And I'm not a fool Ashton, the day I came back when you looked at her and not me I knew, that I was late, and that you already belong to someone else, you belong to her. When you both looked at each other, I saw love and that's when I knew I lost you, Ashton."

"Why?" I asked her the only question which I always wanted to know. Tears started rolling down her eyes, she understood my question. When she answered I froze."My family went bankrupt, Ashton. Pa gave up all his assets and everything he owed to debtors. We moved back to mom's hometown where she owned the house, we stayed there for the past two years, where Jason and I worked in the restaurant. Dad started a small business from the amount he saved while mom stayed home".I stood there listening to her while still processing what she was saying " I and Jason came back because dad's recent company was going well and we didn't have to work in the restaurant. I came back for you Ashton. I left you without even leaving a note, I had to come and explain it to you. I know how much must have you thought that maybe it was your fault, how much you might have been in pain" she said through her tears " I'm so sorry Ashton".

"It's not your fault Claire," I told her after a pause "but why didn't you tell or even reach out to me in the past two years? You know how much I thought about why you might have left, did I do something? Was it because of me? All the thoughts kept running, Claire. And I missed you and Jason so much, I would have been there for you Claire, you could have said to me". I asked letting her know how much I wished she told me. Just a word and I would have been there for her.

"I know but dad didn't want to let anyone know, and I had to listen to him Ashton, he was on verge of breaking down after he went bankrupt. We had to shift as soon as possible so that's why we didn't tell anyone and left." I nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry Claire," I told her for all the shit that went down to her and her family.
She chuckled wiping her tears with a tissue while I stood there passing the tissues to her.

"Enough of my sob story, tell me about your story, how is your mom Eva, hm God I missed her cooking a lot and your dad Steven is he still under pressure thinking you are taking his business or not?" Claire asked to go back to herself. I smiled "Come on, you know you're always welcome home right? Mom sure would love to cook for you and dad will always be dad nothing new there" I told her while she gave a warm smile and her blue eyes shone with adoration. "I wish I was back early, I wouldn't have lost you, Ashton," Claire said with a sigh looking sad, gone was the shine in her eyes which got replaced by sadness.

Would I want that? If it was way before I met my el then maybe yes but now I don't think so, even if claire was early I and el were to meet, we happened cause we belong to each other, she belongs to me. God, I sound like I'm whipped and maybe it's true cause I'm whipped for her and only her. My El.

"Ashton" hearing Claire's voice I came back to earth. "I'm sorry," I said to her awkwardly. "Do you know how you look right now?" Claire asked while I looked at her for the answer "Like the happiest man on earth" Oh that I am. I laughed at her answer. "Do you love her that much?" She asked me gulping down the drink in her hand. I nodded cause I did not want to voice out. I know how much it will hurt Claire and she's been through so much already and I didn't want to add this also to her.

"So this is goodbye?" Claire questioned, while I shook my head negatively and said "No, this is the beginning of a friendship, I need my friend back who I spent my childhood with, laughed with her, played with her, and spent time with, Can we be friends?" I asked her hoping for her to say yes.

"I need some time Ashton, I will be your friend when I am ready " Claire asserted. I nodded understanding her.

"This time I will be waiting, waiting for my friend to be back" I let out with much confidence in my tone. All of a sudden Claire hugged me, I was not able to do anything while standing there with my arms on my side. It was a friendly one and one she needed at least. I let her hug me and suddenly I heard a sound coming through the door, we broke apart because of the sound. Glancing at the entrance I saw my el. I called out to her but she ran away. That was when I knew I messed up. God, she knew of Claire and how misunderstanding the situation would be. Thinking I ran behind her to clarify the scenario, and to tell her that nothing is going on between me and claire. I got my closure now all I need is for El to know how much I love her and only her.
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God Ashton sounds so whipped for elle right?

What are your thoughts on Claire?

I Bet Y'all thought she would be a mean girl right? Or maybe is she?

Why are there so many questions in my chapter today? See even in A/N also. Let's stop now with this symbol ?. Even you people will be tired of seeing this right? Lol.

Please Vote and don't forget to comment cause it makes my day happy

Bonne journée.