cardigan [h.s.]

Chapter 61

Harry

"How long is she going to just stare at me," I whisper to Niall.

Since I've let her into the house after a small smack to the back of the head, Ivy has been standing in front of me while I sit on the couch with her arms crossed and an angry look on her face. It's scary to say the least.

"I don't know, shut up. I'm scared she's going to make our heads spontaneously combust with just staring at us," Niall whispers back.

"She doesn't have that kind of power," I say back.

"Are you sure because I think my head is starting to feel warm," Niall banters back.

"Can both of you just shut up," Ivy finally speaks and we both stop talking. I have no idea what she is doing here. I have the slightest idea that she's actually here for Diana.

Niall is brave enough to raise his hand.

Ivy sighs, "Yes, Niall."

"What are you doing here?"

"Like I said," she starts, putting her hands on her hips. "I want answers to why my daughter sounds like someone took her heart out of her chest."

My best friend is quick to point a finger at me and say, "It's his fault."

"Niall!"

"What?" he shrugs his shoulders, "It's true. You basically told her you can never be with her because she doesn't know if she'll be able to have kids."

I am going to kill him.

"You what?" Ivy bursts.

"Before you get even madder," I say first. "I want you to know that I feel really bad for saying that and I regret those words for ever even leaving my mouth."

It's true. The moment I spoke those words to Diana, I felt the instant regret. She told me about her miscarriage with confidence. She found a safe space within me to tell me something so vulnerable, something that has been eating away at her for years, and as quickly as she found that safe space, I tore it away.

I don't even know what possessed me to say that to her. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her, but I guess that's almost like second nature to me since high school. I only ever hurt the people around me.

As stupid as it sounds, I guess I wanted Diana to find a way to hate me, so then I wouldn't wonder about whether or not she's waiting for me to come back to her. I wanted to her to hate me enough to move one. But by the looks of Ivy being here with a bottle of red wine and a seething red glare pointed at me, that hasn't happened.

She's crumpled.

She's crumpled like a piece of paper while I've been out with Bree, putting up a facade that I'm in a happy new relationship when that's far from the truth. Bree is a nice girl and all, and if I wasn't in love with someone else, she would have been perfect for me. But she just isn't Diana.

I've tried my hardest to move on, be involved with Bree, be present with her in whatever our relationship is, but I can't. That's why I've been avoiding her for the past three weeks. I've dodged her calls, and I've had Niall lie to her when she stops by at the house asking where I am.

I don't want to be in something if my whole heart isn't in it, and I was stupid to think that I could make this work. 'Dating' someone else and pushing Diana away before she got to close. When in actuality, Diana is already buried in my senses and there's no way to get rid of her.

But, I am an idiot for trying to push her away. I'm slowly starting to realize that I might have just ruined the best thing to ever happen to me for the second time.