Little Maxie

Chapter 28

"Are you going to go in your headspace?" Max asked after his mouth was empty, looking curiously at Lando and hoping that they attention would soon shift towards Lando.

"Me, no. I get a bit too hyper when I'm flying in headspace. Or bored," Lando said, and Daniel grinned.

"And he is a right pest then," Daniel said laughing, while Lando made an indignant noise.

"Oh," Max said, looking sideways at Bradley, "perhaps it's better to go in big headspace,"

"Mmh, not for everyone. Lando has tried it before, so he knows if it is what he wants," Bradley said mildly, trying to not put too much pressure on Max, "perhaps it's worth a try to see how you like it in headspace,"

"I don't know," Max said, feeling nervous and faintly nauseous at the thought, "what if I'm a pest?"

By now the Mclaren drivers were watching the conversation, both trying to not interrupt, realizing that this was a sensitive subject.

"You can always go out of headspace then," Brad said, and Max blinked at him.

"No, I can't," Max said, "you can't go in and out headspace so easily,"

"Yes, you can," Lando said, looking weirdly at Max, "you just need to focus,"

Max was looking at Lando with wide eyes, surprised at the other little's words. It was true that he could get out of headspace with focus, but never immediately, always needing the time to hide little Maxie, and let big Max take over.

Whenever he let his guard down when he felt the growing need to be in headspace, he went into it and stayed in there, for the rest of the evening and night, only getting back to his headspace in the morning when he woke up.

Often enough, he did try to be old enough to pretend to be big, and most of the time he managed to control his age, but he couldn't just slip in and out of headspace at will. If he did that, he always risked in between, and that always gave him a headache.

"Perhaps it's something to practice on later," Bradley said, trying to not let his concern show. He knew that Max's headspace behavior wasn't the most healthy, but he had never suspected it to be this bad.

Normally, littles had some degree of control of their headspace, having to be able to get out of it in case of emergency. That Max couldn't just stop being little, it was concerning. What if he slipped during a race and then couldn't manage to pull himself out?

Daniel seemed to notice the morose mood, and the man quickly inquired about the weather, wondering if the next race was going to be a wet one. All three drivers started to discuss the predicted weather, and Brad was relieved when he saw Max start to eat again.

The conversation continued, and was getting slightly more heated, but Max had retreated himself from it, now concentrating hard on eating cleanly, and failing when he spilled food again. Nervously putting his fork down, he twisted the napkin in his hand, trying his best to keep the distress in.

"You need some help?" Daniel asked, right before Brad could, the man having watched Max like a hawk.

"No, I'm just not hungry," Max said, not wanting to confess that he needed the help. The caregiver frowned, but let it go. Max was obviously not in headspace, and as an adult, he was more than capable of making decisions on his own.

"Really?" Brad asked, and Max nodded. To be honest, he really wasn't very hungry. His stomach was hurting a little, and he felt nervous, even more nervous than when he had his first race. He felt unbalanced for the moment, and overly tired from his night on the bathroom floor.