Blue, Beyond

Perpetual Summer

"I think that's what I love about my life. There's no maniacal master plan. It's just unfolding before me" -Cate Blanchett

   Cate and Annie finally got the chance to sit down for a bit and eat dinner. They had it delivered. Italian wedding soup with half a baguette. "This is really good, you're absolutely right" Cate admitted with a mouth half full of bread.

   "I told you. It's not crowned favorite for no reason, Blanchett" Annie winked. "I can certainly see the appeal" Cate continued to get lost in the food in front of her. Annie stared at the blonde. She studied her features. Beauty doesn't even begin to describe it.

Beauty isn't all someone has going for them. Sure, that may be the first thing you notice upon meeting someone. Personality is the true factor, however. Who you are. Your essence. How you treat other's. How you wish to be treated. It all contributes to beauty.

Cate was indeed beautiful. Physically, spiritually, and emotionally... she was breath taking. Every time Annie looked at her, there was a new line of poetry. She was also incredibly deep, Annie found. She found meaning in the smallest of thing's. She was funny, and quick to her wit. She was intelligent, and profound.

Often times a physically beautiful woman, such as Cate doesn't love a compliment on their beauty because... that at times is all people can or want to see. Those comments are transparent. Sure, it's nice to hear it but... it's missing something and often has hidden intentions. Annie wanted to be careful at how she approached telling Cate how she felt about her.

It was more than physical and she wanted Cate to understand this. She wanted her to grasp how much she meant it and what she intended. Working in education, Annie saw a bit of a child like essence in Cate as well. It was charming and sweet.

This may sound ridiculous but Cate had a bit of a "fallen out of a tree" vibe to her. Before you judge... Annie saw this trait in her most favorite people. It's like... it's hard to explain. It's this charming, whimsical, carefree kind of spirit. It's when someone is so busy living, and enjoying life that they have this vibe to them. Almost a hippie vibe but not a hippie at all... like someone who is grounded. Someone who gets what they want out of life.

This person knows their priorities. This person is gentle, kind, compassionate, and endearing. They're 100% themselves, and they could give two shits about what others think. Cate had this quality. Annie didn't know what else to call it. Annie's mom always said that she had this trait. That's what Annie's mom called it anyways. It was fitting.

Looking at Cate, you see a classy, chic, and pristine woman but in spirit... yes, she most certainly had the "fallen out of a tree" vibe. Annie laughed out loud. "What's so funny over there?" The blonde smirked. "Oh, I... It's nothing" Annie smiled. "You're in your own world, aren't you?" Cate chuckled, amused at the teacher.

"For as long as I could remember" Annie smiled, ear to ear. "It must be a beautiful place, up there" Cate smiled back. "It has its seasons" Annie enthused. "What season is it right now?" The Australian asked curiously.

"Summer. Perpetual summer" Annie stared into the woman's eyes. "Oh, you... you are... really something" Cate spoke lightly, grey eyes piercing into the other woman's. "I'm happy you're in my life" Annie admitted. The words have been on her tongue for some time now.

"I know what you mean" Cate grabbed her hands. "You make me happy and I just wanted to thank you for that. No matter where this road takes us... I am... I am so thankful that you are in my life" Annie teared up. "You are beautiful Cate-" Annie started. "Oh, com-" Cate began interrupting. "No. Let me say it. Let me finish. You are beautiful in every way. I am not only talking about physical beauty. Inside. Who you are. You are truly just... everything I could have ever wanted" Annie squeezed Cates hands.

"Annie, I am going to say something and I hope you understand this. I hope you stay after I tell you this" Cate smiled, small. "Wha-" Annie started. "Annie, I love you" Cate breathed out, looking at her hands. "I know we haven't known each other long but I love you. I know how I feel. I know what love is and what it's not... and I love you" Cate finally looked into Annie's eyes.

"Now I understand if this is sudden or not reciprocated, it's early and I'm married... this is new. It's completely understandable if you-" Annie kissed Australian to shut her up. "I love you, Catherine. I love you with every inch of my soul" Annie started crying. "Oh, fuck" Cate also started crying. "Oh, wow" Cate pulled her in for a hug.

They stayed in each others arms for a little while, just holding onto one another. "I really want to remember this moment" Annie sniffed. "Me too. This. Right now." Cate added. There was a moment of silence as they looked into one another's eyes, still holding one another.

"What have we done?" Annie laughed. "We dove in. We passed the shallow line, and we went under the caution tape." Cate smiled. "Let's just hope we don't get swept away" Annie added. "If I'm with you... it doesn't matter" Cate kissed Annie passionately and long.

"Oh dear, we're really doing this, huh?" Annie laughed. Cate took her head into her hands and looked into her eyes. "I'm going to ask Andrew for a divorce" her lip curled up a little in the corner. "Oh, Cate... I don't want to be the reason you-" she was cut short. "You aren't" Cate interrupted.

"This has been on my mind for... gosh, I can't even remember. It's... it's the right decision and I keep coming back to it. No matter what I think of, I always come back to divorce. It's what I want. Truly." Cate admitted. "How do you think the boys will take it? And Edith?" Annie asked, concerned.

"I think they'll be concerned at first but... I'm not sure they don't feel it too. We're not happy, Annie. That feeling... it's not there between us. Kids are intuitive. They know long before you do at times." Cate added. "You're absolutely right about that" Annie agreed.

"When?" Annie asked. "Soon" Cate replied. "I'm not sure of the when but I know it will be soon" Cate shook her head. "It's a big step" Annie stated. "Yes, I suppose it is... but it's the right one" Cate smiled. "I'm here. Every step of the way. Just tell me what you need. I'll be here." Annie held Cates hand. "I appreciate you, darling" Cate kissed her lovingly, and took her in her embrace. "Thank you"