These Lost Romantic Souls

Chapter Five - Monster I'd Let In

I couldn't fight the monster that was haunting me—I'd let it in. Thankfully it was time to go home so I left, crying. And as soon as I reached my home's not so comfortable, I burst into tears. "Shit. I messed up over there." I cursed all that had happened. "Why am I like this? Why am I experiencing this? Why did it go that way?" I questioned everything, I longer can't keep. I hesitated to talk to Rhys, I felt like I had to but I still can't for now. I let time pass by writing. It's the only thing that comforts me. Because in that way, I can leave my mind full of words and emotions that I could not talk about or even express. And all of the sudden, a notification from my phone pops up—a text message. From Rhys. I opened it and read what it says. "Are you all right? I'm sorry about earlier. Please reply." He texted. I hesitated again if I would give him a response but it'd be rude if I didn't. "Yeah, you? I'm sorry as well but I need an explanation. I texted back. "I'm fine as well. That girl was someone from the other class and we're friends. I told her to do something but she messed it up and reasoned that she liked me. And after that, she kissed me but I swear, I didn't kiss her back, I never liked it or her." He'd reply to my question. I wanted to hate myself and him but I would also like to talk everything out. 

I left him after that. I wanted to give myself some time. I needed to think and calm myself down. I'd also wish if only I could turn off my mind for a second but it's far more than impossible. Peace. I'd just stare into the void in my room and feel numb but I also feel everything simultaneously. You know—when you can't understand yourself. I soon fall asleep, it was the only way to turn off my mind.  

I reached for my phone as soon as I wake up, I was gonna text Tenny but I saw that he had a message. I opened the chat window and saw something that he sent. I viewed the text and saw that it was a poem—written by him brighter than the sun,
Your eyes shine brighter the sun,
Your glare is soft like the moon.
I'm sorry for bruising you up with my mind.
I can read you well.
It says. I soften a little and felt a little peace of mind. I don't know but I felt like he understands me, understands me better than I do. "Hey. Thank you for the poem. I'm sorry, I needed some time to think." I said. "Hey, you're welcome. I understand, I'm sorry as well. I'll give you more time as much as you need." He replied. My mind is gradually going at ease. I am slowy becoming myself again. I could never hate you, me, and us.