CANCER SURVIVOR .

5

     Immediately I entered my room, I removed my clothes and went to take my bath. I took a long needed warm bath then performed ablution.
      I wore my nightie and went to bed immediately but then, sleep didn't come. This has been my routine for the past 5 years. I go to sleep but sleep won't come and so sometimes, I prefer staying in the hospital for a night ship as I only sleep when I take sleeping pills.
    But today I decided to do something different and so, I sprayed a prayer mat and I prayed to my heart content. I cried when my head met the ground in my sujood and I told  Allah all my fears and worries.  I read the qur'an afterwards and I felt  a peace of mind which  I didn't feel for like forever and before I knew it, I went into a deep slumber on the prayer mat.
       I felt a tap on my shoulder and I slowly opened my eyes making an eye contact with our maid. It was already morning and I haven't prayed subhi, subhanallah and so, I ran to my lavatory and performed ablution.
     I prayed subh and I was actually surprised because it has been like forever since I last slept peacefully without any pills.
      I took my bath and got ready quickly as I have alot of appointments today.
I didn't meet mama in the living room as she already left for work and so ,i grabbed an apple from the dining and left to the hospital.

      At the hospital, we did chemotherapy for almost 3 kids. It breaks my heart seeing alot of children going through alot at a very young age. I was and am still a victim of cancer and I know how it feels because your life would never be the same as the other children and you would just have to live with it. It is my life mission to help every cancer patient in the whole world not just my country.
      After the patients subsided, I also went to meet with an oncologist who is my senior at work. I have been feeling somewhat sick and so, I decided to meet with her to know what the problem was.

Doctor Nawwarah, I am sorry to say but your condition is becoming critical and I suggest you go for chemotherapy abroad.
Innalillahi, please  doctor do I really have to do this chemotherapy again? I asked with tears in my eyes.
    Yes Nawwarah you would have to do this, you're strong and you're going to be fine again in no time in sha Allah.
    Ok doctor.
      With that, I left for home as I was feeling so down and I knew I wouldn't be able to see any other patient again because I myself is a patient too.
       I was just driving recklessly and after I reached my destination, I parked aside and locked my door. I just wanted to be alone.
       I cried so hard as I knew my time on earth was coming to an end as I am in my last stage of cancer and my body has started rejecting treatment.
      I know Allah is testing me and I pray I pass  this test but wallah it is not easy. Hell, it has never been easy as I have to smile everyday but deep down, I am beyond broken.

Hey guys,
Long time no see
Ikr,so what do you think of this chapter?