Let Me Be Your Hero (Yato x OC)} Noragami fanfiction

Chapter 46 - A fragile voice

What if I forgave myself? I thought. What if I forgave myself even though I did things I shouldn't have. What if I was a liar and a cheater... And there was no excuse for what I have done other because it was what I wanted and needed to? What if I was sorry but if I went back in time, I wouldn't do anything differently than I am doing now?

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Yato's P.O.V.

A quiet voice echoed into my ear. "I am the one who should be sorry..."

You shouldn't be saying that. Stop lying to yourself.

"There is so much I want to say to you." The voice was soft. And sounded fragile. As if you would shatter it, when you tried to reach out for it.

Then say it.

"But I am scared..."

Of what? Say it!!

"I am so selfish..." I wanted to reach out for the voice. Yet, I didn't want to break it. Is it even possible to do so?

Just say it, god damn it!

"...Aren't I...?" The voice faded away. And I asked myself what might happen if I tried to touch it. What might happen if I reached out for it. It would surely break... But would that really matter? Once it's broken there still is a small chance of it being repaired... Isn't there? So maybe... I should reach out anyways. Maybe that is the only way I can protect that little voice...

I am the one who is being selfish.

It seems to be so close. But it's so far away... Maybe I am not even able to reach it. I wonder...

Time passed. And after a time which seemed to be an eternity I managed to open my eyes. The light which invaded my eyes was so bright that it brought tears into my eyes. They slowly rolled down my cheeks. I tried to wipe them away, but the brightness of the sun was still unbearable. So they kept coming and coming again.

But at that moment I also wondered...

And after a while I managed to keep my eyes open. I remembered the little voice. "A dream, huh...?"

If I really was crying because of the sun.

I stood up, making my way to the other side of the building. I wanted to wake Akira up. She probably still was sleeping.

..or...

"Akira it is time to wake u-" My voice stopped working as I saw that nobody was there. "Akira...?"

...If the real cause was because I realized...

I looked around the whole grounds of the shrine. But I couldn't find her. There was no trace of her. It was as if she never existed.

...That I already broke that little voice...

I clenched my fists as I ran out, and searching for her. "I can't loose you... Not again!"

...Without even touching it.

Akira's P.O.V.

I sat on a bench in the park. Yukine came closer and gave me a can he was holding in his hand. "Here." I took a hold of it and nodded softly. "Thanks..." It was quiet for a while.

It was only coincidence that I met him here. I actually wanted to pass by my dad's house but... I was scared. And as I wanted to walk back I met Yukine. Hiyori apparently was in school. And as he asked me if I wanted to walk around with him for a while, I could hardly reject. I know Yato might worry. I even hear his voice calling out for me, in my head. I actually should have been by his side right now. After all that's what a Yokai has to do as soon as their master calls out for them. And yet, I...

"Hey, Akira..." I glanced towards him after I opened the can, and smiled. "Yes?" His eyes were staring at the ground. A dull expression was on his face. "Do you really not remember?" That question felt as if it stapped right though my heart. I laughed nervously. "R-Remember what? What are you talking about?" I grasped the can tighter into my hand. Yukine sighed and took a sip out of his can. "Sorry, that was a stupid question to ask."

That wasn't a stupid question.

"Huh..." It was quiet again.

It just was a stupid answer.

It was pretty awkward. And after a while it was unbearable. I tried to find something to talk about. "Uh... Yukine." "Did Yato tell you my name?" "Well... Kinda. Yeah." He took another sip. "So you also know what I am to him, right...?" I stared at the people walking past us. "I don't", I lied. "I am his Regalia." His voice sounded calm. "Then... Why aren't you by his side? He told me you made up." Yukine laughed.

"Even though we made up, I am still unsure if I can be able to be by his side. Maybe he doesn't need me anymore. After all he has you."

I didn't respond to that. "Hey, Yukine..." For some reason the next question was kinda hard to ask. Well maybe because it was the only thing I actually didn't know. "May I ask... Why you argued, anyways?" The blonde boy looked surprised as he heard that question. But his expression softened as he answered. "He... Lied to Hiyori and me." "What did he say?" Yukine averted his gaze from the ground and looked into my eyes. "He lied about the death of a certain person."

My breath stopped. But I soon answered. "I see..." I exactly knew who he was talking about.

Suddendly I felt a stinging pain in my heart and heard Yato's voice in my head, calling out for me. Why was he so desperately trying to find me? As he left me in the rain, he didn't seem to mind me being alone...

Yet I stood up. "Thanks for the drink. But I really have to go now." I started walking but stopped after a few steps. I smiled at Yukine. "Also... I am sure Yayo would be happy if you came back. After all... He truly is a kind person."
After Yukine heard that sentence he smiled back. "Yeah... I know." I waved one last time and ran off.

I am glad I met Yukine. And I am sure he will come back. After all Yato will need him. He really will need him after I ended the contract.

It didn't matter anymore what would happen to me. If I ended the contract, it would be better for everyone. Yato won't be in life danger anymore, whenever I am. He won't die when I will. Hiyori and Yukine won't be hurt by that girl... They will be safe. And as long as they are safe... I am happy. Even if I die and they will forget me... As long as they are happy, I am. Seeing them alive is all what's important to me. That's why... That's why...

I should really stop...

I stopped walking. My gaze sunk to the ground as I saw little drops wetting it. I looked up. It wasn't raining. Not at all. It was sunny. And so bright as if the light of the sun tried to pierce my eyes. It was painful. Not only my eyes hurt. But also my heart. I felt a tear rolling down my cheek.

...That habit of mine.

...It surely will be okay if I disappear.

The habit of lying to myself.