Longing for Something Sweet (txs) (gxg)

Chapter 6

I walked down the driveway toward my house, the whirl of the car driving away behind me.

I walked to the back steps of my house and was instantly greeted by the sound of barking " Ginger! " I called hearing the dogs barking turn into a whine. " calm down it's just me girl" I laughed as she followed me aimlessly into the kitchen.

I've had Ginger for a couple of years now, she's a French Mastiff. A big ass dog, often compared to a lion or a horse. Though that's obviously an exaggeration.

She's not energetic, nor photogenic. She's slobbery, and drools everywhere, she's lazy and shes sometimes my spirit animal.

I leave the kitchen and walk toward my bedroom, taking my lanyard off and placing it on my dresser in the process. I smiled remembering the contents of today.

I felt my fingers trace the lighting bolt earrings still in my ears. Smiling at how she had liked them. Which only made me like them more. " what should I wear tomorrow? " I thought looking into my box full of dangly earrings. " I could go for the mushrooms... Or the skeletons... Hmm. "

Suddenly a knock sounded on my door. " hey your mom called" my stepmom started and I sighed " what'd she have to say? " I spoke looking into the womans eyes.

" she was wondering if you'd come over on Saturday this weekend. " and I sighed contemplating. I didn't really care to see the woman, but I knew she would just guilt trip me into it anyways." Yeah, yeah whatever. " I watched as the woman left my room, leaving it open just a crack.

I swear parents do that shit just to piss you off. I wasn't excited by the whole idea of seeing my mom this weekend, but it meant seeing my sister, so I couldnt be too upset about it.

My thoughts begin to drift elsewhere. Back to something I wouldn't mind thinking about, back to Ms. Willow.

She was always on my mind. She didn't even have to barge her way, in she was just there. Almost as though there was a spot reserved for her. I'm so hopeless. I was growing frustrated with myself and my delusion so I went where I always go when I need to get it all out.

I opened my phone to my notes app and I started to write. My words merged together into rhymes until what I was writing became a poem. I like writing poems as I've said before, so it only made sense. It was my way of coping.

It doesn't take me long to write most of the poem, I've realized with her I can write paragraphs and just keep going, she's someone that I can talk endlessly about. About the way she teases me, about the way she softly reassures me that I'm better than I think I am. Yet also the danger of what I want to be, but never will be.

I re-read the poem I've just written. It's not perfect, it feels unfished as all of my work tends to.

It's about her eyes. I often find myself getting lost in them. Sometimes they show up in my mind when I'm not even thinking of her almost as if my mind is attempting to draw me back to her.

" Your eyes are like the cool ocean waves, flickering to different gazes.

Your eyes are like melting ice caps, glistening and life threatening .

Yet still I want to dive in.

Your eyes remind me of a sirens song, they call to me and I no longer have control.

You sing your beautiful songs into symphony, hiding the sharks beneath.

Your eyes wield threatening danger, the waves so high you can drown in them.

Yet I no longer think about the consequences.

So let me swim. "

I re-read the poem over and over, almost as if it will make more sense the more I read it.